10 Coping Mechanisms for ADHD Entrepreneurs

Hello, my friend. Welcome back to The Modern Hairstylist Podcast. If you know anything about me, if you've been listening to the podcast for a little bit, if you've ever taken a class with me, then you know damn well I have ADHD. Um, you know that because I go in a bunch of different directions and I do talk about it and I own it.

Um, I own having my, my ADHD. And it shows up in every single facet of my life, you know? And anybody with ADHD, or even just squirrel brain listening to this, um, you know the, uh, uh, y- y- you, uh, you can relate to this. I think all too often, like, we kinda sweep ADHD under the rug, um, and we don't look at it as something that seriously affects us, like, every single day.

And we just kind of think that this is just, like, our personality and this is who we are, and so then we start to attach negative feelings to our own self-worth and our own character, such as, like, we're lazy, or we get distracted, or we have a hard time showing up for ourselves, or we're unmotivated, or we're not smart, or whatever it may be, right? Like, those are all, like, things that I consistently struggle with in my life. But it really is because we have this different way that our brains work. Our brains produce dopamine a lot differently than the neurotypical human being, and that's a real-ass condition that affects us every single day.

And it's so important that you understand that your ADHD doesn't define who you are, but it's also important that we are aware of it, you know? And that we are acknowledging it. And I've had the privilege, and I know that not, uh, that a lot of people have not had this same privilege, um, and so I, I fully recognize that, um, that I was diagnosed from a very young age, and so I've had this awareness my entire life. And even with the awareness though, it's really fricking hard.

And I'm gonna be sharing with you a lot of coping mechanisms that I have come up with over the years, that I've found over the years, that I've either kind of, like, go- gone in and out of that have been helpful, or that I've stuck with really consistently that w- have been really helpful, or things that have literally, like, changed my life that have been helpful. And I'm gonna share that with you in hopes that it helps you as a business owner, because these are gonna be specifically for the business owner today. Because not only, you know, is just being a human being and having ADHD in our personal lives really difficult, but owning a business and having ADHD? Damn, that is hard.

We make great business owners, and the reason why is because we are so creative and so passionate about what we a- whatever we're doing, but we have a lot of downfalls as visionaries and CEOs with ADHD. And so it's really important that you understand what your strengths and your weaknesses are, and you find mechanisms and you find strategies and ways to work that will allow you to navigate those challenges and maximize those strengths at the same time to create a successful life and a good feeling of wellbeing for yourself. So, what I hope today is that you get some of these coping mechanisms, you, you enjoy them, you implement them, you see how they work for you. I'm not gonna say that these at all are the magic fix.

Um, I'm still having to figure out shit every single day, although I am super aware of these and I have a lot of these in the works, but this will be a never-ending struggle, and I've really come to accept that. Um, again, I've ha- I've, I've been aware of my diagnosis for a very long time, but I know that this is always gonna be a consistent struggle. And so whenever I get down on myself, whenever I'm like, "Fuck, like, today I didn't do all the things that I wanted to do, I got really distracted, it's really hard for me to get this work done right now," I- i- it's so important that you take care of yourself and you're kind to yourself, and that's exactly where we're gonna start But before we do that, I'm gonna give you my little intro, so let's get into it. Let's go.

What's the tea, friend? My name's Hunter Donia, industry business educator for hairstylists, but my friends just call me Hunty. Whether it be growing your clientele, making more money, or automating and streamlining your systems, in the next 20 minutes or so, you'll be hearing realistic, actionable strategies to create a beautiful career for yourself behind the chair. So, if you're ready to get into it, welcome to The Modern Hairstylist podcast.

All right, so my first coping mechanism for any ADHD business owner out there is please be kind to yourself. I don't know if you can relate to this. There's this thing with ADHD where you oftentimes don't show up for yourself or you don't get done the things that you wanna get done, and so then you feel like shit, right? And you get anxious, you get depressed, um, you get really down on yourself, which then even furthermore makes it harder for you to get the work done, to show up for yourself, to get motivated, right?

And so it's like this awful cycle of, like, not doing the things that you wish that you would have done, to then feeling shitty about it, which makes it even harder to even do those things and then other things in the future. So, I get into this wild cycle and I'll, like, be sitting on my couch or, like, laying in my bed, like, thinking about how shitty everything is and how I'm, like, so pissed off at myself for not doing anything right now. Furthermore, not getting done the things that I have to do, thinking about my crazy to-do list and being super overwhelmed by it. Like, it's really intense.

And so, like I said, you're gonna feel down on yourself, but being down on yourself is not gonna help you get those things done, right? So, being kind to myself has been a massive shift. Like, really being cognizant of the messaging that you're sharing with yourself, and instead of being like, "Oh, my God. Like, Hunter, like, what the fuck's wrong with you?

Why won't you just get up and do this thing? Like, it's not that hard. Instead of saying that, being like, "Hunter, I love you. I understand you.

This is a difficult situation to be in. You struggle with something that makes it hard for you to show up in these places, and you can take a little bit of time to, like, get down on yourself about it. You can... And it's okay that you're down on yourself about it.

And you will get this stuff done in your own time. So, please. It's okay. Take care of yourself," right?

That messaging to myself just makes it so much easier and better for me to show up. I'm allowed to have my down moments. I'm okay with that, right? And, and it's important to acknowledge that that's gonna come up for you and there's nothing wrong f- with you, um, for getting down on yourself, and then there's nothing wrong with you for not getting X or Y done, right?

It's okay. Treating yourself with kindness is so important. And then when you treat yourself with kindness, you'll be more motivated to show up for yourself, right? And so you'll kind of break that cycle.

So, I think starting out with just being kind to yourself, I know it's simple, but it's also really hardMy brain, and I'm sure that yours does too, goes straight to the negative, and goes straight to getting down on myself. It's really crazy. And it's really crazy how I've become aware of it going to therapy for the past couple of years. Like, I've never realized, and I never really, like, paid attention to how my brain will automatically be like, "Hunter, why the fuck...

What's, what's wrong with you?" Um, instead of being like, "Hunter, like, it's okay. Like, you're allowed to have these emotions. It's all right that you did this.

You're only human and we can move on from this," right? That switch is so beautiful and important. So, I, I encourage you to try and practice that as much as you possibly can. My second coping mechanism is being realistic with myself.

Okay? Being realistic. So, I know my patterns. I know, um, what I will oftentimes be able to show up for and what I won't be able to show up for.

And so when I'm planning ahead, when I'm goal setting, um, when I am, uh, making commitments to myself or whatever it may be, I try my best to be realistic. I try my best to, like, give myself a truthful understanding and view of like, eh, am I really gonna end up doing that for myself? And then if I do commit to it and I end up not doing it, I'm just gonna end up feeling like shit anyway. Maybe it's not a good idea for me to commit to that.

Maybe it's not a good idea for me to overwhelm myself with all of these tasks and all of these projects that I wanted to get done, but I probably won't get done because there's so many things for me to do. Um, or maybe there's something that you're naturally really uninterested in, and maybe you know it's gonna be really hard for you to do it. Is there any way that you can either make it easier, delegate it, or plan it out to be as digestible as possible for you versus just, like, trying to go headfirst into it and then, um, setting yourself up for failure, right? So, being realistic for your, with yourself and just, like, not, not over-committing yourself into anything where you know with your patterns and the way that you normally show up for yourself, um, are going to maybe set you up for failure.

Like, avoiding that, and then making that, making it into something or planning it in a way that will be realistic and will be attainable for you, um, where you will be confident in going into it, and you can be confident that you'll actually complete it in a way that you want to. Then meditation. Okay, I'm sharing, like, a lot of mindset stuff with you right now, and I know when I say the word meditation, everybody with ADHD is like, "Shut up." "I don't wanna hear about that."

That is like, "Nope, it does not work with me." I get it. Trust me, I get it. And I promise you, I'm actually gonna be getting into a lot of tangible things, 'cause you guys know I love tangibility.

I don't, I actually, like... It's hard for me to, like, lean back into the mindset stuff, although it's so important, because if you don't have this mindset stuff, none of the tangible stuff works. So, that's why I'm starting here. But meditation.

Listen. I never thought that I could meditate. But my good friend, Kristen Sosman, one time, I highly recommend everybody follows her, she shared one time that meditation is not always the traditional meditation that we all see and hear and know of. Um, meditation can look so different for every single individual, and you can do it in so many different ways.

I recently had the pleasure of doing equine, uh, therapy. It was just, like, a little session that I did while I was on vacation, and we went onto this ranch, this little ranch with these, like, three beautiful horses and the facilitator who owned the horses, and she walked us through a tiny little breathing exercise before we walked in. And we went in and we literally barely spoke, and we just watched these horses just, like, do their thing for, like, two hours. And the horses weren't doing anything crazy at all.

They were just, like, living in their environment and naturally existing. And just, like, focusing on them and just, like, being peaceful and not speaking, and just, like, being able to observe something, it, it kinda fed my curiosity and it fed my, like, um, my need for, like, dopamine release in my brain for my ADHD, but at the same time, I was so peaceful and I was so grounded and I was able to really, um, uh, be aware of my surroundings and aware of all the sounds and the sights and the things and the feelings and the sensories, right? Just by having the something to kind of focus on, and that's something that was peaceful and really interesting, um, at the same time, and it really blew my mind, because like I said, like, the traditional meditation that we think of is, like, sitting down and just, like, closing your eyes and breathing into yourself and being super focused on your own body. But you can do meditations and different types of therapies that similarly ground you and bring you back into your physical body instead of all up in your brain, right?

Um, without it being you just by yourself, and you actually having your eyes open, maybe. Something that works a little bit better for you. So, I recommend, if meditation is something that just is, is really difficult for you, maybe starting in a, in an alternative type of meditation such as that, or putting yourself in an environment, in an environment where you're, like, forced to. Um, or where, like, the, the whole point of the environment is meditation and it is grounding yourself.

If you have the opportunity to get yourself into something like that, do it. Take advantage of it. Um, because when it's facilitated especially, and it's not you doing it yourself, and somebody else is walking you through and guiding you through, especially in real life, you have the accountability, and you have that in-person support. And then when you experience that, and when you get good at doing that in a facilitated space, it's a lot easier for you to do it by yourself after, 'cause then you practice quieting down your mind.

And going back to being kind to yourself, when you say to yourself, "Meditation doesn't work for me," or when you're meditating and you're, the words and the, um, the thoughts are coming up that are saying, like, "Oh, like, is this how it's supposed to feel like?" Or, "Oh, why can't your brain just turn off? Oh, why can't I have this ex- the same experience that everybody else is having?" Just be kind to yourself.

Just say, "I understand that these thoughts are coming through. It's very natural. It's very normal. Everybody else, when they start to meditate, has these same feelings and, and patterns, right?

And that's okay." And all you have to do is just be and enjoy the experience, and that is it. Right? That is it.

But regrounding yourself and coming out of your brain and into your body really helps me slow my mind down.And also makes it, I believe, this is not scientific at all, this is just what I believe in my own experience, I think that regrounding myself into my body makes dopamine releases a little bit more, um, easy to come by, because I'm not so focused on the next thing and I'm focused on what's happening right now. My whole entire definition, um, and what I subscribe to as far as, like, my medical diagnosis is that, like, with ADHD, my brain doesn't easily produce dopamine as easily as somebody, uh, uh, as a neurotypical individual would. Um, so when I'm in the present moment and it's something that's not, like, something that I'm super hyper focused on or, or super passionate about, um, I'm just, like, thinking about the next thing and I wanna get to the next thing so I can get that next dopamine release, that reward chemical, right?

But if I'm really practicing being in the moment, then it allows me to just enjoy what's happening right in front of me, right? So, I think that meditation has been absolutely a game changer for me and, um, I highly recommend that with all of the things I just said, being realistic and being kind to yourself, that sets you up with the right mindset for coping with your ADHD in a really beautiful way, all right? Okay, so let's get into some actual tangible advice. I know the mindset shit is not what we wanna hear about.

It's never what I wanted to hear about until I was like, "Okay, wow. This actually can really help." So, promise you, my friend, start there. It's work.

It's never gonna be perfect. It's never gonna be a perfect, like, oh, yeah, my mindset's great. It's, everything's cool. I never have to work and do anything ever again.

It's always working on your mindset. It's always trying to, uh, get to a place where you feel good about that or you, it's easier for you to step into those states, right? Um, but you have to start somewhere. Okay, so my next coping meson-...

mechanism and strategy is using a calendar, and I know this sounds so basic and you probably already do maybe, but I don't care. Using a calendar and sticking to it. And if you even get so- like, the, the slightest glimpse of an idea that something is going to be happening in your life, such as a plan, an event, an appointment, whatever it may be, put it in the calendar immediately, okay? Immediately.

Do not wait. Do not think that you're gonna do it later. Don't get the card. Freaking put it in the calendar.

And furthermore, on top of just the events that you plan out in your calendar, plan out your days, okay? And plan out specific time for you to be doing specific work, all right? So if you're working on multiple projects right now or you have multiple responsibilities in your business, make specific times and dates that you do those things, whether they're reoccurring or whether they're new tasks or projects, make specific times and dates that you do those things and visually plant them out in your calendar so you have specific set a ti-... uh, set aside time where you attack those things, okay?

Time blocking, uh, this is something that I kind of go in and out of. Some, sometimes this doesn't really help me, but sometimes it really, really does. And when you need it, it comes very much in handy. So time blocking, making sure that you're actually planning out the day, like, I will be doing this between this hour and this hour and then this hour and this hour can be so powerful, and so I highly recommend it.

And that brings me into my next point, which is doing the hardest and largest tasks first. Doing the hardest and largest tasks first. The thing that you are the least motivated to do, I promise you that is the first thing that you wanna get done, because it is the big boulder. It's the thing that you're gonna p- try and procrastinate the m- as much as you possibly can.

But doing that first out of your entire day, out of all of your other things, you'll be able to give it your most amount of energy, right? And then all the other little, uh, uh, the other, the s- the smaller things that aren't as painful, right, will be a lot easier to get done with the lesser amount of energy that you have after attacking those bigger tasks first, right? Furthermore, I recommend doing this stuff first thing in the morning and even waking up a little bit earlier to do them. For whatever reason, it works so well for me waking up a little bit earlier, making sure I got a lot, a nice, um, eight hours sleep the night before, waking up earlier and getting that hard, big shit done.

Dude, it i- it has been a game changer. Like, if there's something that I really don't wanna get done, I will do my best to plan it at the, to be the first thing that I do and get up early to do it and I will murder it, and it feels so good when it's done. And then all the little things that I'm actually passionate about doing, I'll have the energy for, um, and I'll be able to get done very quickly and easily throughout the rest of the day. So try to get your hard, large shit done first, okay?

That'll, that's a massive help for me, and I very much implement that to this day. Break big tasks into little ones. Break big tasks into little ones. So when you look at a large project or large task that you have, a lot of the times trying to sit down and just, like, get it done is really overwhelming because there's so many moving parts in it.

This is why in my programs I really try my best to implement as many, like, ADHD-friendly learning and task doing, uh, resources as much as possible. So, like, my course is very detailed, step by step by step broken down into little baby pieces, and we give you checklists that take a larger project and then break it down into very specific step by step so you can just give yourself a check and a check and a check and a check. And you just are doing the little things, um, uh, uh, one step at a time, you know? Little steps are so important, um, because every little step that you take gets you to the big finish line, right?

But when you start and you try to take a massive leap, then the little steps all get in the way and it gets really confusing and overwhelming and then you just don't even feel like moving forward. So attack the big things first, but break the big things down into little tasks so it's easier for you to digest them and to get them done efficiently and so that way you don't get overwhelmed, okay? Set strong deadlines for yourself. We have all been there when we have, like, a due date for something, um, and a lot of ADHDers like myself will say, um, like, "Oh, I'm best when I work..."

Uh, "I, I work best under pressure." That's the saying, right? "I work best under pressure." So we've all been there where there's, like, a due date and we wait until last minute and then we go HAM on the project super last minute.

I want you to have deadlines for everything that you, that you have.Um, because if you just let something kind of sit up in the air and you're like, "Meh, I'll do that whenever," then you won't have enough, like, time or space or energy to actually get it done in a reasonable amount of time and give yourself a reasonable amount of time, because cramming last minute is not fun, you know? It's not fun, and it's because we procrastinated, it's because we hold it off, and it's because not only had we not maybe given ourself a hard deadline for it, um, that was maybe earlier than when you had actually would have needed it to be done, but also giving yourself a start date as well too. And then using your calendar to plan out the project, so helpful and important.

I have a really massive rule for my team with our project management software. If they want me to do anything, they have to give me a start date. Because if I just see a due date, I am waiting until the due date to get it done. But if I see a start date and it's planned e- out into little tasks that are d- like, have, like, little due dates, right, that lead up to the, uh, to the due date for, like, you know, like the little steps that lead up to, like, actually finishing and, and turning in the project, then I can digest that and I will actually get it done and I'll start it early enough and I'll do parts of it leading up to that due date instead of just, like, doing it last minute.

So setting strong deadlines for yourself and then holding yourself accountable to those deadlines by maybe sharing those deadlines with somebody else. So sharing with your clients, like, "Hey, by this date, I'll be sharing with you this resource," or, "This is going to happen." Um, maybe asking your husband or your whoever, close friend in your life. In our group community on our programs online, we have accountability pods.

So our accountability pods meet every month and they share with each other, like, what they're, what they have worked on thus far and what their goal is for next time, and the next time they'll check in with each other and see, like, "Hey, d- did you finish what you wanted to finish this past month," right? And so that way you have something or somebody holding you accountable as well too to that deadline. So alongside those deadlines, don't do it alone. Do not do it alone.

You need to have support. You need to have community. You need to have people who can root you on even when you f- don't feel like showing up, people who will hold you accountable, and people who will support you through the process, um, and answer any questions and give you ideas and give you that motivation, um, that you need to actually get that done in a strategic and efficient way. So not doing it alone, finding a community like the ones that we host online in our programs and our membership I think is really beautiful and important as well too for coping with your ADHD as an entrepreneur.

Turning off distractions. Oh my God, this is so important and I'm so bad at it. I am so addicted to my phone as a Zillennial, okay? I am so addicted to my phone, and I keep my phone right next to me on my desk way too often, and the amount of times I pick it up and start scrolling TikTok when I should be working is ridiculous.

Put the phone in another room and turn it off. Turn the computer on do not disturb. Do everything that you need to remove the s- the distractions when you want to work on a project, because it doesn't allow your brain to go to a different place. Like, your brain will try to go to the different place, but then it's not even there for you to, to go into, to, like, get distracted by, so then you'll be forced to go back to what's right in front of you.

Get the distractions out of the way and do it tangibly and as, as physically as possible to get them out of the way. And even with technology too, like, there's so many systems where you can set timers for yourself, um, and where you can, like, turn on do not disturb, manage your screen time with certain apps and all those things. So get the distractions out of the way when you're working on one project and it'll be super helpful for you to actually get through and not get distracted. Okay, now, you know this was coming, you know I talk about this all the time, and this has changed my life.

Truly, this changed my life. It still has changed my life. It changes my life every single day in one way or another, and it makes it a lot easier to manage my business. Automation and technology.

I know. I know. I preach about it all the time. You've heard it from me before.

There's plenty of episodes that talk about this. But dude, please, you have to understand, we are so privileged to be in a day and age where we have these tools that can help us keep up with the crazy pace of the world and all of our responsibilities that we have. Lean into them. Use them.

They are helpful. You want to get all of those mundane bullshit tasks off of your plate and onto technology so you aren't bogged down by them and your energy isn't being taken away from them and you don't get overwhelmed by them and you- they don't fall through the cracks. They fell through the cracks a lot for me when I was owning my business and running it by myself and I did not have these automations and toc- te- and technology in place because of my ADHD. Get them off of your plate.

It will make you getting other things done so much easier and enjoyable and you will be able to show up so much more consistently for yourself and your business, and I teach you exactly how to do this in my programs. Lastly, I want you, again, to take care of yourself, to be kind to yourself, to understand you're not alone. You are only human. There's a lot of people who struggle with ADHD on this planet, and it has gotten you to where you are today.

It has steered you in the right direction. It may have even steered you into this beautiful industry that we get to make an impact in other people's lives in, right? Um, be grateful for who you are, where you are, what part of your journey you're in right now, and be kind to yourself moving forward, and know that this is a struggle that you are going to live with for the rest of your life most likely, right? But there are things that you can do to make it better and to show up better for yourself, but truly, like, kindness to yourself, staying in your own lane, and taking responsibility for the challenges that you have, and doing your best, 'cause that's all you can do, to manage those challenges, um, is super important.

So I'm here to support you through that as much as I possibly can, my friend, whether it be through the mindset, whether it be through kind words, whether it be, um, from me just, uh, uh, sharing with you my struggles, whatever it may be, and my strategies and the technology and the automation, all the things. I hope that this is helpful for you in one way or another. It's super important that it is. And so if it was helpful, I would love to hear, um, what your experience has been if you leave a five-star testimonial wherever you're listening to this, um, and that will help me reach more like-minded ADHD beautypreneurs in the space, and hopefully they can hear this message too.

So much love to you, my friend. Peace out, girl scout. Bye-bye.

End of transcript. © 2023 Hunter Donia LLC.