How To Conquer Imposter Syndrome with Mattea Hunter

What's the tea, friend? My name's Hunter Donia, industry business educator for hairstylists, but my friends just call me Hunty. Whether it be growing your clientele, making more money, or automating and streamlining your systems, in the next 20 minutes or so, you'll be hearing realistic, actionable strategies to create a beautiful career for yourself behind the chair. So if you're ready to get into it, welcome to the Modern Hairstylist podcast.

Hello, my friend. Welcome back to the Modern Hairstylist podcast. Today, I have a very special guest, somebody that I have a beautiful connection with, somebody that I have, um, had the pleasure of meeting in person, having plenty of conversations with online. If anybody knows or remembers the Clubhouse days, back in the Clubhouse days, if you're listening to this, that's where me and Matia...

What's going on, Matia? Hey. Um, hey. That's where me and Matia were able to, uh, link up and connect for the first time.

And, uh, back in the day, um, we even hosted some rooms together, and we had some fantastic conversations. And being able to learn and hear from you and your experience has been so beautiful and fantastic. Um, you're also the host of the Evolving Perspectives podcast, right? That's right.

And, uh, I've been able to tune into a couple episodes, and it has just been so freaking cool to be able to, like, listen to you in that, like, long form content way, because you just have so many, like, gems and knowledge bombs that you drop that truly are, like, so inspirational and so helpful, um, for so many people, including myself. And so- Aw. I'm so honored that you're here to be able to share with our audience today. But I will allow you to introduce yourself, Matia, in your own words, and share with us, uh, your beauty and magic for, uh, who you are, if you don't mind.

Wow, absolutely. First of all, thank you so much for allowing me to come on your podcast. What a tremendous honor. I have definitely enjoyed just following your path and your journey.

It has been so uplifting and so enlightening, and I have learned parts about the industry that I thought I kind of knew, but you were able to give me in-depth detail that I just was not privy to. And I just want to commend you for the work that you're doing, because it definitely does not go unnoticed. And I'm just super excited to be here today. Um, yes, my name is Matia Hunter.

I am a licensed beauty professional cosmetologist. I've been in the industry almost 20 years. I know that I look like I'm 21, honey. That's you too.

But I am coming up on 20 years, and I'm super proud of that. I am licensed in Virginia and in Maryland. I specialize in, uh, relaxer-free hair, and I love color. They're the things that I, I do the most.

Um, but one of the things that I think that I'm the most proud of is just the, um, ability to not just create beautiful hair, but to create an amazing model of how to engage with my guests, how to keep people coming back. Just the retention and all the things. And being able to pour into the lives of other beauty professionals, whether they're seasoned, whether they're new to the industry, has been one of the most rewarding parts of this journey. And I must say that I've been in a little bit of every pocket of the beauty industry, because I started out as a makeup artist and transitioned over into the hair side about five years into, into my career, and have been on the hair side primarily ever since.

And now I do coaching and consulting and host classes on just how to, you know, provide or not... or how to ha- live a balanced life, um, because that was something that I saw so much, especially at the beginning of my career, how people just were so engulfed in their, um... in their, in their job and in their career that they did not have time for other things. So just being able to navigate all the things and do all them well, um, has definitely been a pleasure to be able to serve people in that way, to let them see that there is light at the end of the tunnel and there is balance to be had in life.

Yeah. So I love that you brought that up, because I feel like you are a really great example of... And, you know, I'm sure that we all have our moments, right? But I think you are a really great example of somebody who is super passionate about what you do and super passionate about this industry, and you do have your hands in so many different places, and you stay very involved, and you are offering, you know, the, the education and the help and the consulting that you give people.

But at the same time, like, it really does seem like, like, you make... You very intentionally live your life, and you, and you have a purpose for your personal life and where you spend that time and for your work life. And you really... Uh, just from what...

From the outside looking in, it really does seem like you're very intentional in making sure that work isn't just taking over your entire life, right? Would you agree? Oh, I definitely would agree with that. Um, it has not always been that way, of course, but I had to get to a place in my life, number one, where I said, "I'm not going to allow my life to pass me by."

Because early on in my career, I was that person who was like, you know, "Oh, you need me to... You need me to stay? You need me to come? You need me...

How, how long... How many more..." Because I was... Number one, I love money.

Right. Let me just be honest. You know, I love money. And, you know, at the time when I first got into the industry, I didn't have a whole lot of responsibilities.

I wasn't married, I didn't have any children. So, you know, my commitments outside of the salon were not what they are today. But what I learned, just in being in different salon environments, is that a lot of the people who were in the industry allowed the industry to consume them and allowed their career to consume them. And then what ended up happening was, they start...

You miss your birthdays, and then you miss your parties, and then you miss the weddings, and then you miss the events, and then you miss out on family time. And then I said to myself... I woke up one day and I said, "This will not be my life."There was more to me than being behind the chair, and there was more to life than being behind the chair.

I need to create a plan that will work for me so that I can still get the money that I need to take care of my family and enjoy myself and do the things I like, but also create a balance so that I can be involved in my family's life and do the, all the things that I enjoy and all the other things, you know, that, that's just out there. So, uh, I had to, I had to own that. I had to really take a step back and say, "Matia, what is really your driving force?" Like, this is not the end-all be-all.

Like, we can't do this forever, 'cause number one, your body's not gonna be able to take it, you know, and, um, you need balance in your life. That's how, that's how we make, you know, ourselves, make the world go round, by having that balance. Yeah. Absolutely.

And I feel like in order to, like, achieve that work/life balance, still make the money that you want to make, and then also to be able to, like, make that money to live, like, a wealthy, healthy life, you know, it takes you showing up as a business owner and implementing, like, really innovative strategies and making sure that you're really showing up with a service mindset, taking really great care of your clients. And I find that a lot of the times, especially nowadays, I think that especially with, like, how we compare ourselves with social media now, right? Mm-hmm. Like, we ha- we're scrolling through and we see all these other hairstylers doing all these crazy things, and, um, I just think that the comparison of ourselves to others has just become so amplified and it just gets, like, more and more and more intense.

And with that, I think comes imposter syndrome, right? Yeah. Which is something that we wanted to talk about today, um, I think. And the reason, you know, I suggested that we talk about that is just because I think, well, somebody on my team, Mila, she's amazing, she's behind the chair right now, and I sometimes lean into her and ask her, like, "What do you see the industry str-struggling with right now?"

Mm-hmm. She said, "Everybody's struggling with imposter syndrome." Like, everybody feels like they're not enough or they're not worth, um, showing up in the way that they need to show up, i- as, like, bosses of their business and, like, as, like, the CEOs, right? And so I wanna hear your take Matia, with all of your experience, with having your hands in so many different things, like, where do you think we can start off with this conversation?

Maybe just, like, defining what this actually is, possibly? Mm-hmm. So first with imposter syndrome, it shows up in many different ways, but one of the things that we want to, I guess, establish with imposter syndrome is the fact that it's that feeling, that anxious feeling, of not being worthy and not enough. You know, even when we are qualified, right?

So that's the piece. I don't think that people often tap into the, the, what the, what they say the part B or the clause B is- Right. you're qualified. You know what I mean?

And I'll be honest with you, this is something that I struggled with for a very long time, and still do to a certain extent, you know, let's, let's be honest, you know. And one thing about imposter syndrome, it shows up in different ways. For some people, they are perfectionists. For some people, they are the, the genius.

For some people, they are the procrastinator. It shows up in so many different ways, and it stems from, of course, social media, but it can also stem from what somebody said to you, what somebody did to you, whether it was a previous employer, whether it was when you were a child. It can be packaged and it can stem from so many different avenues. So I think for me, what really helped me, and what is helping me through my journey, is, number one, I had to identify where it came from, you know?

And once I identified that, then I could start thinking about, "How do I get this imposter syndrome out of my vocabulary and live the best life that I know I know I need to live?" And so what happened for me was, you know, I started thinking, like, th- 'cause for me, it showed up in perfectionism. Like, I wouldn't move unless it was per- unless I felt like it was perfect. You know what I mean?

I'm like, "Okay, no. Mm-mm. No, it's not right. I'm, I'm just gonna sit on it.

No, I just saw so-and-so post something. I saw she did a silk press class, and they're gonna think that mine is not good enough, or mine is not the same, or the way you..." You know, I mean, it was always this constant thing, constant thing, constant thing. And then I had to realize that, "Matia, own who you are.

You are qualified. You are educated. You invest in yourself. You have a purpose.

You have a plan." And once I owned that there were people assigned to me and there were people who were waiting for me to show up, I started thinking about things a lot differently. I was like, "Why am I holding onto somebody else's narrative when I have my own? My narrative is, this is who I'm assigned to."

And I also had to release the thought of, "My life was supposed to look a certain way." And once I realized, "Matia, your life may not be packaged the way Hunter's is, and your life might not be packaged the way Jane's is," I have my own lane and my own community and my own people that have been assigned to me, and I've been assigned to them, and I'm doing them a disservice when I'm constantly comparing myself to other people. One thing that... And it was funny, because the other day I was at the gym, and we were, me and another young lady were talking about how there are, you know, different, you know, instructors.

And I said, "You know, I went to this one girl's class, and she walked in the door saying, 'You know, I'm not the best instructor, but if you wanna stay, you can. You know, I mean, I'm doing, I'm, I'm trying my best. I'm doing the best I can, but, you know, I, I understand if, if you've gone to other people who were better.'" Immediately, I was turned off.

Right. And I'm saying to myself, "Why did you even show up then?" "Yes, why are we here? Like-" Right.

"... let me just do a video at the house on YouTube." "I can at least figure out what this is about." Right.

And so I truly have owned...... the fact that this is what I've been called to do. I'm skilled at this, I'm gifted at this. So how dare I minimize the gift that I have?

Yeah. And it's when I start talking to clients about simple things, you know, how to pin curl your hair. And my client's like, "I'm just strugglin'." I'm thinkin', "Who don't know how to do that?"

And they're like, "Masia, no, I'm serious." Or people come to you and they're like, "I really cannot do my hair." And I'm thinkin', "It's been, uh, your head since you were born. What do you mean?"

Right. And I start, when you start havin' those conversations and realizing what I have really is a superpower, it is a gift. I have trained for this. I have educated myself to bring my clients the very best of who I am.

And I also had to own that there are people that are better than me. It really is. It, I'm not the best. I think I'm great, but there are people who are better than me.

There are people who could do, you know, a whole balayage and highlight and all the things quicker than me. There are people who can run circles around me. But that doesn't dismiss the gift that I have and what I bring to my clients. You know what I mean?

I think about often how people go to different restaurants, or they go to different stores, and they go to those places because they've made a connection with that brand. I'm a Nordstrom girl, right? Mm-hmm. And not that I hate Macy's, not that JCPenney is not okay.

Bloomingdale's is amazing. Neiman's is, you know, top tier. But it's something about Nordstrom, it just makes me feel good when I go in there. It's like a perfect balance between, you know, it's the clean lines, it's the way that they've organized the store, it's the way that they treat their employees, it's the way that they've, you know, engage with me as a customer.

It just makes me feel good. I don't know what it is. Matter of fact, at one point in my life, years ago, I used to work for them and it just... And I started working for them because I was like, "Man, I love this store."

You know what I mean? And so it's the same thing with our clients. When we own that, honey, they are coming to you because of you. Right.

Let me walk in that. Let me own that. Yes, you are coming because you want to have a hunty experience. There's thousands of people that you could go to- Right.

but you decided to come to me. And I'm go- imma own that. And when you are confident, people are drawn to that confidence. And then you can start dismi- And little by little, I start chipping away at that imposter syndrome.

"I'm not enough." Who said that? Who told me that? And a lot of times, for me, I told myself that.

It wasn't that anybody else was even saying it to me. A lot of times we get caught up in, you know, oh, my mom, or my dad, or this person or that person. For me, it was me. I told myself that.

But imma tell you what really sent me to really owning my stuff. Is when I start going to the uni- 'Cause everybody at, right, especially right before the pandemic and during the pandemic, everybody was hosting these classes, right? I'm teaching you how to do, you know, five steps to this or three steps to this. And I'm going to the class and I'm saying to myself, "I just paid what?

I just gave you $99 for you to give me five steps to do, I don't know, to create a vagaro site." What? Right. When it's on their website.

That was dumb. Right. And I'm like, it, it really is mindset. It's not even skill.

Right. It's mindset. 100%. There's people out here doing the damn thing and charging a lot more for what?

For a lot lesser of a quality product, right? Yes. Absolutely. And it's like, what's the difference between you and them is that they decided to not let their voices get in, their own voices in their head get in the way of them just saying, "I'm just gonna do it anyway," right?

Absolutely. Absolutely. Do you think that there is... So like, let's say like somebody's listening to this right now, and they're like, "I wanna show up bigger and badder and more confident as myself."

Mm-hmm. "And I know that that's maybe what's required to, you know, make me more happy in my personal life, but also maybe to grow my business as well too." Mm-hmm. Do you think that there's validity o- in, like, the concept of, like, fake it till you make it?

In a way where it's like sometimes maybe, like, you're not gonna feel the courage or the confidence. Mm-hmm. Like, maybe that's just not gonna show up for you. But maybe you just have to, like, feel it and then do it anyway.

Do you think there's a validity to that? I definitely do. I mean, I know people kinda have opinions on both sides. And on, on one hand, I'm saying, "No, don't fake it, just show up as yourself."

But then on the other side, sometimes you dot... Like, and you, we see this all the time in all these memes. You know, sometimes you have to do it and do it afraid. You know what I mean?

It's even when I first... And, and, um, of course, a lot of people still are very shy when it comes to social media. And of course, just like probably most people, I wasn't confident when I first started showing up as myself. Not just posting my work, but for myself.

Like, "Oh, you know, let me do a video of myself." Right. You know, it's like, "Hoo, what are people gonna say? Is my makeup perfect?

Do I look like this? Oh my Go-" You know, uh, you know, you, you talkin' in this, y- y- y- y- you got a little shake in your voice. "Y'all come to me, I'm okay." You know, so you're doing that.

And so I, I initially, and I never forget going to a class. I wa- I was in a coaching program years ago. And she was talking about showing up. And she's like, "It's just like when you are learning to ride a bike.

You're not confident in riding a bike. First, you're just kinda on a tricycle and you kinda master that. Then you get on the bike, it has the training wheels. You're still not confident, but you're showing up."

And then as you practice and then that muscle memory starts working, it becomes easier every day, every moment. And I think taking things moment by moment, sometimes we get so focused on the big picture that we can't see the steps that it takes to get to that big picture. So then we don't do anything. So it's, it's the, it's that muscle memory and working that every single day.

Today I'm going to show up and just say, "Hey, guys, how y'all doing? I'm on my way to the salon." The next day I'm going to say, "Hey, guys, I'm on my way to the salon and I got three appointments available. Who coming?"

Then the next day it's, "Hey, guys, I'm hosting a class, I'm doing a free sem-" I mean, so every day, every moment I'm practicing, I'm, I'm using that muscle memory and I'm going back and back and back and back. And next thing you know, you're showing up like hunty- ... and being a bad, a baddie out here. And next thing you know, the, the thousands of people are coming and you're saying, "What happened?

I was just on Flipout." Stop. Honey, the masses are here. What y'all doing?

But you set yourself up for success. It was little by little, you know what I mean? When you, when you first started out, it was just simple conversations and that was it. And you have grown to have a massive following and amazing programs and have implemented so many strategic things within our industry and have truly changed the trajectory of so many people's lives and their businesses.

You are a impactful man that is making strides that are not going unnoticed and I am so very proud of that. And to see you evolve has been such a beautiful sight in my eyes. I'm so proud of you. Thank you so much, Matia, that means the absolute world to me.

And, like, the fact that you were, like, the beginning of that Clubhouse journey and, like, part of that with me, like, means so much and, like, the fact that we're here now is so freaking cool, like, so thank you. I really appreciate that so much. Absolutely. I have one last little, like, point that I want to talk about and ask your, what your thoughts are.

I do feel like the imposter syndrome shows up a little bit heavier for us as beauty professionals because I think our industry is so stigmatized and also, like, from the outside perspective, looked at as something that's, like, lesser than or, like, we're, like, not making as much money because we didn't go, like, the traditional college route, et cetera, et cetera. And I think because of that, like, we are, we, we don't take ourselves seriously because of the general public's opinion or, or perception. Or maybe like you said, like, maybe this was told to you at some point, so, like, maybe somebody's parents or peers said, like, "Oh, you're going to beauty school? Like, you're not gonna make any money doing that."

You know what I mean? Right? And I think that that, like, makes it really hard for people. And even, like, for me, I know that when I was in my salon suite business and I would even talk to my ex-partner or, like, my parents about, like, what I had going on, when I told them I wanted to raise my prices and I wanted to raise them, like, a fair bit, like, I remember them telling me, like, "Oh," or, like, "are you sure you want to do that?"

Like, "You're," like, "you're doing hair, like, people need their hair done, like, are people really gonna pay that money?" And there, that, like, is really hard to handle and work through- Mm-hmm. when you have people around you who don't understand and, like, look at what you're doing as something different. Yeah.

What are your thoughts about that? Have you ever experienced that or do you see that at all? Oh, yeah. I mean, I think that that happens all the time, especially in our industry.

And then of course that's some- that's something that's new, that's, that's kind of been the thing forever. I do feel like things are changing and shifting. Of course there's so much chatter, you know, in these social media streets about stylists charging a zillion dollars now and doing all the crazy things, but I also feel like, for me, I make it a point to share with my guests what you're getting when you come to me and I own that. I own that you are, you are coming to me because of an experience and because of that, there's a dollar attached to that.

Mm-hmm. I also say to people, "You know, getting your hair done is a luxury, honey. It's the way I've packaged it. Just like you love going to the spa, just like you love going to the..."

No, you're going to... I, I have this mindset of people respect what you make them respect, so what I'm not gonna allow you to do is belittle who I am, the experiences that I have, and the education that's behind my name, period. You're just not. You know, we met at a summit that was not cheap.

I make it my business to share with my clients. No, I go to things and educational experiences that have commas. Absolutely. So I'm not a fly by night, blowing, you know, curlers in the air, doing this as a hobby.

This is how I take care of my family. This is how I support my lifestyle. And just like you go to work and you invest in yourself and your trainings and your things, I do the exact same thing. So put some respect on my name, period.

Yes. I freaking love that. Thank you so much, Matia. I think that's the perfect way to end this podcast episode.

I think everybody can take that and freaking run with it, so freaking cool. Thank you so much, Matia. Let me ask you this. Is there any, like, if somebody wanted to connect with you right now...

Oh my god. Okay, wait. The first thing I want to say before I let you say it is, like, go... My friend, if you're listening to this, go subscribe and listen to the Evolving Perspectives Podcast with Matia.

I'm- that's the, that's the title of the podcast, right? That's right, evo- uh-huh, Evolving Perspectives, mm-hmm. Go freaking subscribe to that and, uh, uh, get on board with it, honey, because the episodes have been so juicy and so good and I have been obsessed with them. So go and check that out for sure.

But is there anywhere else that people can connect with you or anything else that you got going on that you'd like to share, Matia? Um, yes. So of course, outside of me being a hairstylist, I do have the podcast, I have a totally separate thing with that. And I had just recently, like this week, have my website up and running, so I'm super excited about that.

Yes, momentswithmatia.com and you connect with me there. Um, all of my podcasts will be up there, how to get into coaching with me, consulting, all the things. You know, I've written a book.

My husband and I, you know, we do have of course a number of different things. We own a business too, so we do other things in the death care industry, so that's a whole nother part of my life and, you know, I share things about that part of my life on the podcast and on the website. So I'm super excited about where I'm going and the things that are unfolding for me. Beautiful.

I'm so excited to see them unfold for you and I'm so excited that so many people who are listening to this are going to go check that out and be able to be a part of that journey as well too. So freaking cool. Thank you so much for your time today, Matia. I appreciate you so much.

Absolutely. It definitely was a pleasure and an honor. Thank you for having me. Absolutely.

All right, my friend, thank you so much for tuning in to the Modern Hairstyles podcast. We're gonna leave Matia's links in the show notes of this episode. And if you enjoyed this episode, I'd really appreciate if you hit the subscribe button wherever you're listening to this and left a five star testimonial. Really super appreciate it.

So much love. Peace out, girl scout. Bye-bye.

End of transcript. © 2024 Hunter Donia LLC.