How To Fire A Client Without Backlash

There's nothing worse than when you have that client on your schedule, right? It's maybe, like, let's say this Sunday or the Monday before you get back to work, and you're looking at your schedule ahead, and you have Karen on Friday. And you are dreading Karen, right? She's always a pain in the ass when you see her.

She never likes her hair. She is always making you uncomfortable with whatever conversation she's sharing with you. I've had my fair share, trust and believe. And, uh, maybe you know that your life would be so much less stressful if Karen was not on your books.

Like, that would be a dream. Like, how relieved would you be if Karen told you at the next appointment that she was moving to another city, you know? I am a believer that you don't have to wait for Karen to move to another city. I am a believer that if this person is causing you that much discomfort, then they should probably not be in your space, and that you have the right to refuse service, um, and that it's probably for the better for you, Karen, your clients, your friends, family, and loved ones that Karen leaves.

And notice, I said it's great for Karen, too. And we'll talk about all of that today, in which we'll be talking about how to fire a client without getting a negative reaction in return, the best that we possibly can. So, we're gonna be covering firing a client in a- as a whole today, but particularly how can we do it in a way in which it goes down smoothly. So, I have Jody Brown with me, as per usual, to facilitate the conversation today.

I'll throw it on over to you, Jody. Um, I think this is very top of mind for a lot of stylists, and I can absolutely relate to having a client that I dread on my books, so I think this is a very important conversation to give- give people kinda the- the comfort level to actually just pull the trigger and do it. Hell, yeah. So, uh, where do you think we should start off?

So, I think the first thing would be how to decide whether or not you should fire a client. Here is the tea, okay? I do believe that there is a part of our industry in which we just have to sign up for dealing with discomfort because we're working with human beings, right? But when it comes to the point where it's as far as what I was sharing in the beginning, where, like, you're thinking about it all week, where it's, like, really affecting, like, how you're showing up for yourself, your family, your friends, like, and your mental health, and your other clients, you know?

That's when I really think it becomes an issue. I mean, I remember... I definitely do my best work not when I'm, like, nervous or not when I'm uncomfortable, you know? I- I remember, like, when I was working on these people, I'd be, like, sh- like, literally sometimes, like, shaking because I'd be, like, so scared of whether they would like it or not.

And there's no way I can serve somebody well if I'm- if I'm showing up like that. I think you should fire this person if it gets to the point in which you are unable to give them a great service in the way that you authentically normally know how to- Mm-hmm. because of how they're making you feel, right? I think a lot of educators will always approach this conversation from one in which they say, like, "You deserve to not have this person in your space," and I absolutely believe in that, and I will be sharing some of that perspective today.

Mm-hmm. But I think where that message kinda falls flat for the majority of people is the reason why we're not firing this person is because we're just naturally people pleasers, right? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And so, my philosophy from the- f- my philosophy from the very beginning of my- of teaching this stuff, and even what has actually worked for myself, is if you truly care, and if that's the reason why you're truly not getting rid of this person, then you should get rid of them because you're not taking good care of them, because they make you uncomfortable, right?

Right. So, like, if you- if it's to the point where you aren't able to do this person a good service, then you're actually doing them a disservice by not letting them go. And on top of that, you're doing everyone, including most importantly yourself, a disservice. Mm-hmm, yeah.

So, nobody is winning at the end of the day. Yeah, yeah. Right? And I think you're so right, is there's so much guilt, like, uh, surrounding letting go of clients.

I actually, at my last hair appointment, my hairstylist was talking about their client that they dread that was coming in, like, four days after my appointment. Wow. And I was like, "Fire them!" Like, "Why are you letting this person dictate?"

They're like, "Well, I just feel so bad," and, like, you know, and I'm like... So, I totally agree, I think there is so much of, like, an epidemic of just, like, not being able to prioritize our own comfort, so I love that you addressed it from that angle, too. Yeah, and the feeling bad part about it, too, because I hear about the other experience where it's not necessarily that the person is making you uncomfortable, but maybe it's that they want a service that you just, like, don't really know how to do a good job at. Yes.

Or, like, their expectations are s- are so unaligned with what you're able to deliver for whatever reason. Mm-hmm. Or you feel as if you're the only one who can deliver those expecta- deliver on those expectations. Right, right.

Like, maybe this person makes you feel really guilty because they're like, "You're the only hairstylist that I've ever found that can do this for me," you know? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So then, you have- you feel like there's this responsibility that you're the only person on this Earth who can do good hair, which is not fucking true. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Again, like, there probably is somebody in the area who can take great care of Karen, and probably take better care of Karen than you because you are uncomfortable. Yeah, yeah. Like, you don't feel good, you know? Yeah.

Uh, but this also comes down to, you know, when we have- when we have to make business decisions on where we're letting people go. For example, let's say that you are starting to let go of haircut-only clients- Mm-hmm. because you're trying to make more room for your specialties such as color or extensions, right? Like, like, sometimes you'll be like, "Well, I'm the only person who can do this razor cut pixie for this- for this client."

It's like, no, girl. Like, there is somebody else out there, and it's honestly- Right. And I know- I know hair is- is so, so special and it's very important, a lot of people have a lot of trauma with it. On a- on the other side of the coin, it is just hair, okay?

Right. On the other side of the coin, it is just hair. Right. There's- there's much more important things in life, and this person will figure it out.

Why do you have to be the martyr? Like, why do you have to be the one who is, like, suffering, you know? Like, there are other people who might not suffer with Karen.How about that?

Right. Like, there's people out there in your area who actually would do really well with Karen. Right. I know somebody in my salon, in my, in my very first employee salon that I ever worked in, um, uh, I know there's somebody in there who loves taking on, like, difficult Karens.

Mm-hmm. Like, 'cause she fucking ... She does not fuck around, and they love her. They respond very well to that, right?

Very hard. So, like, there's people out there who will ... who want that money, want that person, and will take it, you know? Right, right.

I think also when it comes to the other deciding factor is also when there's no amount of money in the world. I think that's the other thing. Right. I don't ...

Uh, some poor advice that I feel like I've, that I don't agree with is, like, "Oh, well, you don't like a client, just, uh, just quote them, like, a million dollars more," or something like that, right? Like, "Just quote them a really high price." It's- I just feel like that's just unethical. Like, I mean, obviously.

Right. I mean, especially if they see, like, you ... what your, uh, what your prices are, you know, like, then it's- you're unfairly quoting this person. Mm-hmm.

Um, but, like, I mean, I think just as a good, like, uh, decision-making factor, uh, to think about, like, let's say this person was giving me, like, triple more, right, paying me- Mm-hmm. triple more. Would I s- s- ... Would I be more likely to wanna keep them around, or is there no amount of money that would outweigh the discomfort that this person gives me, right?

Right, right. Um, uh, uh, that's the other thing, too, that I think oftentimes plays into this conversation, because I actually do think that that is actually often the case, is that people are actually just underpriced as well too. Ah. And they just be- uh, uh, they feel like a lot of clients, they're undercharging for and that they are uncomfortable with.

Right. And it actually just becomes a money conversation. It's like, well- Right. you wouldn't hate doing these haircut-onlys so much if you were just priced well for these, these things.

Maybe it's not about the person, and so maybe it's a different angle. Maybe it's not about the person. It's actually about how you're running the business and how you're running your systems and self-reflecting that, self-reflecting on that and making the difference there instead. So anyways- Awesome.

so those, so those are some things to think about when you're actually deciding whether or not this person should go or not. Okay. That's a great filter. And so once you've already decided, so once you're like, okay, you've weighed it out, you've considered it, and you're like, "No, this person's gotta go," like, "I need to get rid of them for whatever reason," how do you do so without, like we said, like, without causing a ton of backlash or potentially, like, minimizing the, the potential blowback from that conversation as much as possible?

Yeah, 'cause I feel like this is, like, the main thing that really holds us back from actually doing it, is actually- Totally. having to do it, and seeing what- Mm-hmm. their reaction is. I mean, particularly if this, if this person already makes you feel uncomfortable, I mean, the fear of the, the response to this is obviously much higher than the average person.

Of course. Which is very valid, you know? Again, I'm gonna go back to the fact that, like, you're a business owner, and there's just really uncomfortable things that you have to do sometimes- Yeah. right, uh, and have to go through and have to confront.

I mean, you're a human. The fuck? Yeah. I mean, this is a part of fucking human life.

You just have to be uncomfortable sometimes if you ever wanna grow as a human, right? Right. Like, you can stay in the spot that you're at right now, which is pretty damn uncomfortable, or you could be temporarily uncomfortable- Mm-hmm. and get a lot more comfortable through uncomfortable growth.

Does that ... Hopefully that made sense to y'all. I think you get what my message is there, hopefully. Um, uh, you can either go through short-term, uh, discomfort that will l- uh, make it so you're much better off at the end, or stay uncomfortable right now, right?

Um, with that being said, I do believe ... And, and, you know, this person could freak out. They could, they could be so upset, they could talk to you about to everybody. They could leave a shitty review.

They could try to sue you, whatever it may be, right? Mm-hmm. Very valid. I'm gonna just throw out those concerns.

First off, you should have your clients signing a liability waiver every single time they come to see you. That's a whole nother conversation. But besides that, we wanna mitigate that as much as possible, and my, my way that we mitigate that is we make it about them, okay? We frame it as a service to them to be letting them go as much as we possibly can.

We don't talk about us very much. We talk about them, and we put their ... we put ourselves in their shoes and think about, h- how do they need to hear this, or what is the reasoning that would make it so it feels as if I'm not a problem as a client, right, and that this person is just trying to make the best decision for both of us. Mm-hmm.

That is going to be your goal when you're communicating this to these people. Mm-hmm. And I'm a big fan of doing this non-confrontationally in person. I think doing this over an email or even a text is fine.

Right. This is not ... You're not breaking up with your fucking, you know, your boyfriend or your girlfriend, y- you know? Like, this is not- Right.

You're not divorcing somebody. This is, uh, uh, this is- Right. business, right? Mm-hmm.

And I'm, like, kind of a firm believer that, like, that, like, you already deal with enough shit and, like, of this stress and discomfort and hard conversations in your personal life that, you know- Mm-hmm. you don't really need to be dealing with this in your business at the end of the day. I don't think it's worth it. So a- Mm-hmm.

So, doing it non-confrontationally, I think, is, is absolutely valid. I also believe that doing it non-confrontationally, you're allowed to say what you mean the way that you want to say it, versus- Right. like, when you're in person, your voice is trembling. You're shaking.

You may not do it. You may, like- Yeah. roll back on it, and you may not say things the way that you wanted to say them. And I think that, you know, w- with ...

when you have a sensitive conversation such as this, I think that the way that you say things absolutely does matter, and it affects things. Mm-hmm. We talked about making it about them, not about us. D- where is the responsibility in terms of, like, do you need to find them a new stylist?

Do you need to ... Like, what are ... What do you recommend in terms of, like, your, uh, I guess, like, your parting words to- Yeah. this difficult client?

It really depends on, like, why you're letting them go. It also depends on, like, if you're able to lean into, like, other current events that are happening. So for example, like, if you're getting rid of a service or something like that, you can make it, like, m- less personal, like, about- Right. the person.

Um, it depends.As far as the actual words go and what you actually say, it comes down to, "I don't feel as if I can serve you, uh, as better as somebody else could, and I feel like I'm doing you a disservice." And then- Right. that's how it keeps on going, right?

I love the idea of you recommending other people. I mean, I think that particularly in these circumstances, I think that it can be very important for you to recommend other people. Mm-hmm. And sometimes people are like, "Oh, well, this is a Karen and I don't wanna recommend...

I don't wanna, like, put this on somebody else." Right? Right. Reality is she's gonna go to somebody, you know?

So, um, what I will normally recommend is- is if you truly, like, care about this person and if you really wanna make sure that they're well- that- that they're well set, um, and you also, like, are comfortable with sending them to a friend or a peer or whatever it may be, then absolutely just give them the direct- the direct, uh, referral. Mm-hmm. Otherwise, um, give them a referral to, like, the top-rated salons in your area and have them figure it out. You know- Right.

have the reception- the receptionist figure it out and have them- Yeah. deal with it as a team. Right. I think that that's just kind of, like, what those salons are signing up for, uh- Totally.

as far as, you know, they're open to anybody and everybody. Yeah. Um, so that's normally my recommendation, and I do believe that offering that recommendation is important. I also believe that with that, giving the formula, uh- Mm-hmm.

giving the, "I will..." Uh, "If you would like, your stylist can reach out to me and we will talk about what I normally do on you." Like s- like, making sure that this person feels really set, uh- Right. and that you really are going out of your way to make sure that they're set moving forward, I think is, um- Yeah.

is a really great way of making it so, you know, they can see that you put in that effort and that you really value them. I mean, even saying, you know, in the- in the- in the message saying like, "Just so you know, I really value your- your loyalty. I very much appreciate you visiting my business and I love getting to see you. Um, uh, this is just a- a business decision that I have to make for both of us moving forward."

Yeah. Yeah. I love that. So finality in the- in the conversation as well.

Like, don't leave it open. No. I- I mean, one thing about the non-confrontational communication is, like, you wanna make sure they actually got the message. So- Mm-hmm.

that's actually something I still struggle with. I- I don't really know what the right- right or wrong answer is. Um, you know, sometimes in the message I would say, "Respond to me." If, uh, "Just respond to me confirming that you've got this email just to make sure."

'Cause I- like, if I just remove their appointment that they have pre-booked, you know, are they still gonna show up to it? Like, it's like, it's very- it's very awkward if they didn't get the message. If you're texting somebody, I'm pretty sure you can safely assume that they got it, right? But if you're just- Right.

sending an email, then maybe you're gonna wanna ask for confirmation, and that's where you kinda- Right. leave it open, quote, unquote. I will tell you, though, you know, even with the difficult clients that I got rid of, that, like, I got rid of because they were just genuinely, like, difficult- Mm-hmm. whenever I approach it this way, I've gotten th- so many thank yous.

Right. Like, I've gotten so many thank yous. Like, "Thank you so much for, uh, being honest with me and feeling as if you aren't able to deliver on the service that I'm looking for." Right?

Even though maybe sometimes that wasn't actually the full truth, right? Right. That's what I would say, and there was truth to it, but it wasn't the full truth. Right.

Right? Right. Um, uh, I- I- I can't even tell you how many people really appreciated that and received that so well. Yeah.

And now they genuinely are doing better with a better person who enjoys them more. You know, it's like- Right. again, like, this is not, like, this doesn't have to be this detrimental situation. It's a- a- and maybe- Yeah.

going back to the breakup analogy, this is not a breakup, right? Right. But, you know, sometimes there's breakups and sometimes they suck, but sometimes it's better for both parties, either in the short-term or the long-term. Right?

Yeah. And that's the exact same situation here. Yeah. And so, like, we need to, like, put away our, like...

We need to- we need to put our guilt aside. We need to- Yeah. we need to put our fear aside of the reaction, because this could all end up... What, like, this, the question of, like, what if this ended up being amazing?

Right? Right. What if this ended up being awesome? Right.

But you're holding yourself back from doing it because of you're- you're scared of the negative thing. Yeah. And maybe the negative thing happens. So I want you right now listening to this, 'cause I'm sure you're thinking of that one client right now.

Like, let's say that you fire this person and they leave you a one-star review on Google. Let's say that they text you back and they're freaking out at you. Let's say that they tell their 10 friends about you and they- they talk shit on you, right? Mm-hmm.

What happens next? Like, write down, like, what happens? Like- Yeah. what happens as a result of that, right?

Okay, maybe you have this one-star review that you have to live with for the rest of your career. What the fuck ever, you know? They'll probably see that she's going crazy on there anyway, you know? Right.

Uh, okay, these 10 people who are her friends who we probably don't want either, they're all- they all have a negative view of you, who the fuck cares, right? Right. Like, life moves on even when you have these negative experiences. Mm-hmm.

So what is the worst that can happen? And regardless, you just have to, uh, feel the fear and do it anyway with a situation like this. Totally. And I think it's worth thinking about too, like, if this is causing you this much discomfort in your business, like, and you don't take action, then that's- that's just gonna continue.

Yeah. And what's worse, you know, uh- Yeah. long suffering forever or a short-term suffering that doesn't last forever , you know? I think- I think- I think we all know...

I think we all know the answer to that. So if you're listening to this, this is your sign, my friend, get rid of that client. I support you. You will be fine either way.

And, um, uh, good luck to you. You are definitely not the first who has had to go through this. And I see... All too often, I see much more actually positive experiences versus negative ones, um, particularly when you approach it from the way that I suggest that you do.

So- so hopefully this was helpful to you, my friend. Um, you deserve it to be happy within the business that you've worked so hard to build for yourself and your clients that you actually do enjoy. And you've got this. So thanks for tuning in.

Peace out, girl scout. Bye-bye.

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