How to Have Difficult Conversations With Your Clients

Hello, friend. Welcome back to the Modern Hairstylist podcast. I am hype because we're gonna be talking about something that I have been self-proclaimed... Not even self-proclaimed, like, by many people proclaimed, that I am the master of, which is how to say no to your clients without pissing off your clients, right?

Like, how to have difficult conversations with clients in a way where you're reducing pushback and reducing negative reactions as much as possible. I love talking about this so much because I really do think there are so many beautiful strategic ways where you can finally have that hard conversation with your clients without getting the one-star review, without getting that person to go tell all their friends that you suck, right? And, um, I know that so many people struggle with this, and I really, really, truly am a firm believer that I don't want you to be stressing out about your business. I don't want you to be emotionally laboring over your business.

Like, I have experienced so much anxiety and almost a teensy bit of hopelessness and depression over situations where I needed to have the difficult conversation but I was too scared to do it. And so, what I'm really hoping that I can do here is give you the tools and the confidence and support that you need to go and approach those conversations confidently so you can get over that hump and you can start worrying about your personal life and all the bullshit in your personal life instead of the shit in your business. Because, like, come on. We have enough shit to worry about in our personal lives.

Like, let's get this shit done with our business, okay? So I'm here to help you. I'm here to talk to you about it. Let's go.

Let me guess. You are a hustling, bustling hairstylist behind the chair, working so hard to build a beautiful career for yourself, one that gives you time, freedom, and energy to spend with yourself, your family, and your friends. But you feel like you're always working in your business, even when you're not behind the chair. My name's Hunter Donia, and I help you automate your systems and implement really beautiful strategies so you can grow your business without the overwhelm.

And this is the Modern Hairstylist podcast. What is going on, Miss Caitlin Granger? Uh, not much. Just, uh, you know, living the life, doing the things and whatnot.

Living life, doing the things, I love it. Tell us who you are. Tell us why you're here with me today, my friend. Hello, everyone.

My name's Caitlin. I am a hairstylist, semi-retired hairstylist. I just moved to England earlier this year and I am currently working for Hunter. So my main goal here is I just kind of help keep Hunter on track, 'cause we're both a little bit on the squirrel brain side, so, like- ...

two s- two squirrel brains equals a good brain, I, in my opinion, so- Yeah. I'm here to keep him on track and, uh, just kind of insert my opinion where needed. I love it. I love it.

Caitlin, we appreciate having you so much, because I could not do the podcast without you, and we're really excited to get into t- into today's topic, which is how to say no without pissing off your clients. So, let's talk about some different conversations that you may have with your clients where you would have to say no or where you have to have, you know, that difficult, awkward confrontation situation. So, in my opinion, a couple of these could look like a price increase, right? A price increase is a big, difficult conversation that we sometimes have to have with our clients.

Um, let's say you have to fire a client. Let's say that you have had a client who is upset with the service that you did with them. Let's say that your client is always showing up late and you have to let them know that they can't show up late anymore. Let's say that you have to change your hours.

Whatever it may be, right? There are all these different types of conversations that we have to have that are really scary and give us a whole lot of anxiety going into it. And here's what I'm gonna tell you, my friends, just to start this off from the bat, before I get into strategy and stuff. Number one, know you're not alone, okay?

Obviously, we all have to deal with this bullshit at one way or... in one way or another. And number two, you know, the fear and anxiety is not gonna go away. I hate to tell you, it's not gonna go away, it's gonna be uncomfortable, it's gonna still suck.

However, being as prepared as possible, having the systems, processes, and solutions in place as much as possible, and going into it with people who support you, a mentorship and community that supports you and is rallying behind you, it can really make a massive difference. And so, we're gonna be hopefully giving you some of that today. So, having the systems and solutions, like I just talked about, to back you up is really, really, really important, because when you have certain set-in-stone systems, you can rely on them to do the heavy lifting for you. Or, you can rely on them to give your client a great experience in spite of whatever change or decision that you're having with them, right?

So, for example, let's say that you have somebody reaching out to you and asking you if you can come in on a day where you're already booked out or you're not gonna come in and work. Let's say you're on vacation with your family that day or something like that. And you have this client and they reach out to you and they're like, "I really need to get in on this day," right? Instead of you having to go through the labor of booking an appointment yourself, number one, or explaining to them that you're not gonna be in the, in the salon at that time, you could send them your online booking link, right?

And as long as your online booking link is super easy to use, you've already explained it and rolled it out to your clients, your menu is very simple, the user experience is great, it's a easy, simple, and convenient way for your client to go and actually see all of your availability, right? All of your availability. And so it's fair, because your client is then seeing, like, oh, they're not working that day, instead of thinking that you're just, like, saying no because you wanna say no, right? Like, it's, it's on, it's visual, like, there's no arguing it.

It's like, that is your schedule, it is what it is.And so instead of saying no, sending them the online booking site and saying, "All of my availability is right here, you can go check it out." And then on top of that you could also say, because you know Karen's gonna go on there and she're not gonna be able to find an appointment for that time, right? You can also say, "Here is my wait list link."

Right? "Here is my wait list link." And so when you say that, right, you're already getting ahead of the game because you know what her response is gonna be, right? So instead of spending any more of your precious time answering Karen, you are already getting ahead of what you think that she's already gonna say.

You have two solutions that you offered her. You showed her all of your availability and you gave her the link to your wait list just in case she couldn't get in with you, right, for that date and maybe there would be a different time or date that would be possible for her. So this is where, right, so let's say you, you give Karen, like, the online booking site, you give Karen the wait list link, right? And she comes back and she says, "There's nothing for that time, which is when I really need my hair done.

Could you just squeeze me in? I promise it'll be quick." This is where the magic comes in of really excellent customer service. And what we wanna make sure that we're doing in our customer service is that we're keeping it client-centric.

We aren't talking about ourselves as much as we would love to say, right? As li- as much as we would love to say, "No, Karen, I can't get you in this Saturday because I'm going away with my family and I deserve that time with them," it's not going to illicit a fantastic reaction, right? Like, it's just not going to. It's not, it's not client-centric.

Your client doesn't care about that vacation, they just want their hair done, right? So instead of saying that, what we can say is, "I totally understand, Karen, and I apologize for the inconvenience. Unfortunately, all that's open on the online booking site are the only times and days I'm available. If I were to squeeze you in, I'd be doing you, myself, and my other guests a disservice.

If you'd like, I can recommend to you other salons in the area that may be able to take care of you this Saturday." So, do you see what I did there? Number one, first I made Karen feel understood, right? 'Cause, like, it is an inconvenience.

I'm not apologizing that I can't get her in on Saturday, I'm apologizing that there is an inconvenience for her, right? So we're not apologizing for the fact that we have boundaries and we're not coming in, we're apologizing that there is an inconvenience for her because it still kinda sucks, right? And we appreciate Karen, we appreciate Karen's business. Like, she's cool, she's fine.

She's just really pushing for this date because she has to get an event, get in that date for an event or something like that, right? But although I apologized for the inconvenience, I still stood strong in my boundaries and I said, "Unfortunately, all that's open on the online booking site are the only times and days I'm available." Right? So you're leaning into your system.

That system is supporting you. It's showing Karen your actual availability. There's no arguing it, right? And saying, "If I were to squeeze you in, I'd be doing you a disservice."

Right? Like, it's not fair to be squeezing Karen in. You know that you won't be able to do your best job on her if you do that. And so then if you truly have to break your own boundaries to serve somebody, like if you have to come in early, stay late on your day off to really take care of somebody, then you are no longer the right fit for them.

I'm gonna say it again. If you have to break your own boundaries in order to serve somebody to the caliber that they need or feel like they need to be served, right, you are no longer the right fit for them. Why? Because the moment that you break your own boundaries is the moment that you cannot serve them anymore.

Because if you come in on your day off, you're not gonna be able to show up with your 100%. You're gonna be pissed, you're gonna be resentful, you're not gonna do a good job on her hair. You're, you're gonna be mad that you're not home with your family on your fucking day off, right, or on vacation with your, with your family on your day off. Like, so, so if you have to break your own boundaries, then you are no longer the right fit for them.

And that's where I say we have to get really comfortable with blessing and releasing at that point, or suggesting the bless and release, right? So I said, "If you'd like, I can recommend you to other salons in the area that may be able to take care of you this Saturday." I know it's scary to say, like, go to somebody else. It's scary that you might lose business because of this.

But at the end of the day, you are no longer the right fit for them. But here's the thing though. If you're really confident in your client experience, like if you know your client e- experience is badass, like if you've been through pre-visit pathway, like if you've implemented the experience customization form, like if you are giving a really badass client experience, then you should be confident that when you say this, that Karen may... She's gonna do two things.

She's gonna do one of two things. She's either gonna go to another salon that you recommend and she's going to have an okay experience and get right back into your chair, right? Or Karen's gonna be like, "Oh, no, it's okay. I really wish that I could get in at that time, but I understand and I'll catch you the next time."

Right? Because she couldn't even imagine leaving you because of how great your experience is, right? Those are, those are most likely gonna be what happen. But if Karen ends up leaving you, like, it is what it is.

You have plenty of other clients that are gonna come see you right behind her who don't need you to break your boundaries in order for them to be happy and for you to serve them 100%. Right? Caylin, what do you have to share? Uh, something that I really dislike and get really, like, I feel like a mama bear about when it comes to clients pressuring stylists is it's, it's not fair for you to have to break your own boundaries to make someone else happy.

Like, that is the point in time where I no longer believe that the customer is always right. Mm-hmm. And you need to be able to stick to your boundaries in that sense. And, like, i- giving them the option to go somewhere else isn't, like, that isn't, like, your final letter of goodbye, right?

Like, it's, it's- Right. just giving them the option. So I think that these are all, like, super good options for keeping it super neutral. Like, you're not, like, s- sending them on their way and, like, all of the things.

Yeah, I just completely agree.This isn't something where we're trying to be, like, so, like, harsh and, like, so intense with, like, saying no. Like, what I end up seeing a lot of the times when people start to set boundaries is that they set them so brashly and so irresponsibly and so unprofessionally. Like, we need to still be professional.

We still need to show empathy. I still showed empathy, did I not? Like I said, like, "I'm so sorry for the inconvenience." Your client just wants to feel understood sometimes.

Like, when you can make your client feel understood and heard although the answer is no, it will soften the blow so much, and a lot of the times, that's all they need. Like, when you're having a difficult conversation, if you can make somebody feel like you really want to take care of them but, like, there's just nothing that you can do/you have a solution, you have something, there's never a, like an e- like a loop that ends, right? Because you have a wait list. So like, when you send the wait list, then it's, then you can have something where, you know, it's not just like, "No, sorry."

Like, there is still a possibility, there is some way, some shape or form where there's hope that you can serve them. So, these systems and solutions are so important in making sure that you're able to give somebody that, that level of service without breaking your own boundaries, right? And also, in your verbiage, like we were saying, say, making sure that they feel understood and heard. And both of those things will make sure that you can really serve your client but also serve yourself at the end of the day and in the long term for both of you.

Now here is another thing that we can very much be doing when it comes to having difficult conversations with your clients. So listen, I am Gen Z, okay? And I am, like, anti-confrontation, all right? Like, because of being Gen Z, like, you know, like, we grew up with our phones, like, we don't have conversations with anybody anymore.

Like, you know these kids nowadays, right? I'm a Zillennial, so, like, I'm a little bit more on the cusp of Millennial, so I still respect and I cherish, like, in-person interactions. Um, however, I really don't like confrontation. I'm not comfortable with it.

However, I've had to do it as a hairstylist, like, plenty of times over the past couple years. Although I didn't want to be in it, it is what it is. Like, we just learn that and we experience that as service providers no matter how much we want to avoid it. But the great thing is, is that when you have systems and solutions and processes in place, you have ways of non-confrontationally sharing things with people that you may be nervous to share with them, and you're able to share it with them in a way that you're getting across every single message that you need to get across to them without leaving out anything or without miscommunicating something that you really wanted to make sure that you got across in the right way.

Right? Like, if you're rolling out a price increase and you're super nervous about it, you have to really stay strong in the fact that, like, the price is the price and it is what it is, and having that fear of the confrontation and that conversation, you know, in that conversation, you could back out with the emotions that you may have because of the confrontation. You could m- you could, like, beat around the bush and not really communicate clearly about what is gonna happen next appointment. Um, and so you run the risk of, if you are anxious about some of these things, you really run the risk of screwing yourself over and not getting the message across fairly, which isn't fair to you or your client.

And so with digital resources, with, like, email marketing systems and with, like, modern ways of going about doing these things, you can really make sure that you get the message across and that you roll out changes in a way where you're exemplifying the value in them, you're keeping them customer-centric, and your client knows what the tea is fully so that way, the expectations are set and you can just press a button and you don't have to have an awkward conversation with every single one of your clients, right? Um, I don't think there's anything wrong with sending a text or an email to fire a client or to have a difficult conversation with a client, because like I said, you're able to get across every single message. It is, you have receipts for it, you are communicating it correctly, right? And, uh, you're making sure that you're both on the same page.

And so I've heard educators before be like, "Oh, well, like, you're being, like, a wuss, like, if you don't have that conversation in person." Like, "Oh, it's so disrespectful to not, to not have that conversation in person." I'm like, girl, this is a business, bitch. I understand that we are creating these, like, personal relationships, but, like, at the end of the day, like, you have a fucking personal life too, you know?

And, like, you need to respect yourself with that. You need to respect, like, I would literally, I would literally be so anxious my entire week when I knew that I had a c- hard conversation coming up with that client, right? Like, you don't deserve that. Like, you literally don't deserve that.

You deserve to be happy and have work out of your brain throughout the week, and things like this, non-confrontationally rolling things out in a professional, customer-centric way, right, which I teach you how to do within my courses and in Beauty Boundary Workshop, then that makes sure that you can get the message across without having to be fricking anxious and crazy and uncomfortable with it. So, something that I just wanna add to that is to keep in mind, too, that a lot of people, not just us, don't like confrontation. So, when you are contemplating having this really tough conversation with a client, they probably don't wanna be on the receiving end of that confrontation either. So, it might be beneficial to both sides to have that via text or email or whatever have you.

Absolutely, 100%. Especially, I mean, like, with a price increase, for example. Like, let's say that your client is, like, really uncomfortable with this new price or, like, they feel like they want to tell you that they're not comfortable with this new price. And instead of, like, them, like, being in person and not feeling comfortable to talk to you about it at all and then never coming back, at least you're giving them a chance to, like, review it and then them themselves be able to write an email and be able to say, like, "Hey, is there any other solutions?

Is there anything else we can do? Do you have anybody we recommend?" Instead of just X-ing out that relationship completely, right? Like, I completely agree, such a freaking great point.

Like, your clients don't really want the confrontation either. It gives them more flexibility. It gives them more open chance to proper and effective communication. So, I really believe that, like, it is totally okay for you to do it in that way, as long as you're doing it professionally, as long as you're keeping it customer-centric, and that you have the systems and solutions to support you in doing so.

So, my friend, I hope that you enjoyed this episode of the Modern Hairstylist podcast. I hope that you have a little bit more confidence, um, moving forward with having that fucking difficult conversation with your client, and we are here to support you in doing so. At the time of releasing this podcast, I believe we are going to be having Beauty Boundary Workshop, which is our free workshop teaching you all about how to set boundaries without jeopardizing the professionalism of your business. We're gonna be breaking down verbiage.

We're gonna be breaking down all of the things in there, so I highly recommend that you sign up at hunterdoniadot.com/boundaries. We're gonna leave the link in the show notes for you of this episode for you to be able to sign up conveniently, and we cannot wait to see you there. It is a very rare class.

I only do it twice a year, and it is completely free. So, we will see you there. Thank you so much for tuning into the Modern Hairstylist podcast. Peace out, girl scout.

Bye bye.

End of transcript. © 2022 Hunter Donia LLC.