How To Reconnect With Your Purpose When You Feel Disconnected (for High Achievers)

I never needed therapy until I was an adult and I was overworking. I was working way too much. So trust and believe my parents, I was very privileged and grateful. Please do not get me wrong.

Privileged and grateful that my parents actually, like, forced me into therapy as a child two times. The first time was when they got divorced. They were very nervous about how it was gonna affect me and my brother so they put me into therapy, and I was like, w- I just didn't really, I was fine with my parents' divorce. Again, super privileged and grateful.

I understand that that's not everybody's experience as far as therapy goes, divorce goes, all the things, right? So my therapist was like, "You're graduated. You don't need this." And I was like, "Great.

Bet." The second time was my little brother, uh, when I was, like, in high school. I think I was a senior in high school. My little brother found my weed grinder, okay?

And he was very concerned. He thought I was an addict or whatever, that I was on drugs, right? And brought it to my dad, and basically snitched on me. Then my dad forced me into therapy thinking that I'm this drug addict or whatever it may be.

Forced me into therapy. I did three sessions. The therapist was like, "You obviously don't need to be here. You graduated from therapy," right?

Again, you know, I don't know. I think everybody can benefit from therapy. Don't know if I just w- I just, I was just chilling at the time. I don't know what it was.

There was nothing f- that I felt like I needed to talk about with a therapist at the time, right? But the first time that I voluntarily entered therapy was when I was at a point in my business in which I was working on it nonstop, hardcore. Like, going crazy working on it, right? And gaining a whole lot of success.

And that success was so beautiful. Like, it was, I was so, I was so grateful for it and it was so fulfilling to me that my business was doing what it was doing, right? And so I found myself always working, always thinking about work, always wanting to work, and I knew that that wasn't necessarily a sustainable thing for me to be, a state for me to be in. Right.

And so I went to therapy, and me and my therapist started talking about ways that I can, uh, improve this s- this condition, I guess. So I started setting boundaries with work. I started leaving l- if I was not in my office, I was not working. So I was not on my phone working.

I wasn't bringing my laptop down into my living room. I was just focused on my personal life with my partner at the time, my ex-partner. And it was interesting how when I started to set those boundaries, you're really forced to sit with your personal life, right? You're forced to not think about work anymore and really just face whatever you have left.

And at the time, I realized that I was so addicted to work because that's where I was getting all of my fulfillment. Mm-hmm. I wasn't getting my fulfillment from my personal life at all. I was, like, looking at my circumstances and I was like, "I live in the middle of nowhere.

I'm with this dude who I don't even like. And I don't have any friends here, and I don't have any hobbies that I enjoy. All I'm doing is working," because working felt so good because I was getting such great results, right? I built such a successful business, and doing the things to make it work and be better and great were, were so addicting to me, right?

And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Don't get me wrong here, okay? I think it's so awesome for you to find your business as something that is fulfilling and purposeful, and it should be exciting for you to get results. But it absolutely should not replace the fulfillment that you're, you should be chasing in y- from your personal life outside of your business.

Because if you're relying on your business for your personal fulfillment, that is a very risky rollercoaster to be on, because business is a rollercoaster inevitably. I don't care how successful you are, how sustainably successful you've been for a long time. Anything can happen, and shit will rock you real fast. And you don't want that to be your only source of fulfillment because it will not feel good when it is not something that can fulfill you anymore, right?

So- Yeah. And it doesn't matter even in my experience, I completely relate to all of that. Same reason I entered therapy also. Um.

And I think the thing that really surprised me is that, like, even if there's not, like, a, I think we expect there's gonna be a rollercoaster if there's, like, something really bad happens. But even if it doesn't, my experience was even the same level started to not, like, hit the same almost. And so- Yes. it's like you're not, e- even though things are going well, like, you're still not getting the same validation that you did when you were in that building phase.

Yes. I think that's such a great point because, like, you build and build and build and it feels so great, but then- Mm-hmm. when you hit a glass ceiling and when it's time for you to maybe do new things to grow the business, a lot of those new things aren't as sexy and aren't getting you great, crazy results like you may have, you may have previously experienced, right? 100%.

So I think that's a great, great point. And so at the time, I started to figure out, like, how I could get the fulfillment from outside of my business, and I did. I, like, I left this man that I was now forced to look at for once. Like, I was distracting myself from how miserable I was with work, right?

And I looked at this man and I broke up with his ass. I moved back to the area that I grew up in where all my friends were, and I got, uh, back into skiing and I got really into nature. And I w- felt so pu- fulfilled in my personal life, and that really helped me understand why a lot of people come to me and say, "My business is doing real- really well right now, but I feel so lost. Like, I feel like I don't know what's next.

I'm like, what now?" Like, people are like, "I just feel so weird," right? And I think it's for all the reasons that we've stated thus far, and I think that...Like I said, it's now time for you to do something different to get to the next level, you know, in your business, but then also in your life as well too.

And I think that both of them, both of those things need to feed off of each other, right? If you're not fulfilled in your personal life, you're probably not gonna be showing up to your business in a way that feels fulfilled. And then if you don't, aren't doing the next level thing to be able to grow the business, then you're not creating the wealth and fulfillment that you need to create the fulfillment in your personal life, right? Like, I woulda never...

I mean, skiing, y'all, is a fucking expensive sport, you know? Like, I needed... If I wanted to go to all the gay ski weeks that I went to that year that I broke up with my boyfriend, I... My ex-boyfriend, I would...

I- if I didn't grow the business to make the money to be able to do that, I wouldn't have been able to do that, right? That's the point of us doing this business in the first place is so that way we can afford to take off and do those fun things in our personal life to find that fulfillment in our personal life. But a lot of the times, people in this... At that level, when you've gained that success, you'll feel disconnected from the why or the purpose behind the business.

And I think that it comes down to your personal life and n- and now understanding that, okay, you've done so great in the business. Let's focus on how we can make the rest of your goals, which we should still be shooting for and shooting high, match up with what you want in your personal life now. We've, we've reached sustained success. We've reached past, you know, scarcity.

We've reached past, "I don't know how I'm gonna pay this bill," right? So now let's figure out how we can maximize what you've created, make it even more sustainable and long-term with more advanced strategies, and then also build a personal life that you're proud of and that you love as well too. Yeah, and I think that's so important because I have definitely, like, seen instances where, like, sometimes it can be tempting if you don't get that dialed in, you don't start to get fulfillment outside of that, to start, like, self-sabotaging almost to try and get that, like, excitement back instead of doing the boring stuff that you need to do to get to that next level. But one of the things that we had kinda talked about previously prior to recording is the fact that, like, the rewards that you get once you have attained, like, a certain level of success aren't immediate.

You don't get the immediate gratification as much. And I think, I think we should expand on that. Yes. I agree.

I think what also ends up happening is that the discipline becomes a little bit harder as well too, like the discipline to continuously show up and do the things as well. Like, I think, like, because it's not giving you that same rush, right? And maybe you are starting to branch out into your personal life and, like, get more fulfillment there. The discipline of still showing up to do what you've done, but then also do the new things, is a little bit harder for you to stay consistent with.

And I would say that, you know, once you get to that point, it's... You ha- you will have the privilege to be able to start to, like, delegate and automate some of that stuff, where, you know, maybe you don't have that same feeling or rush about it, so you... But you have the resources to be able to make sure it's still done consistently, but it's off of your plate, right? But again, that's an advanced thing.

Like, delegating some, like, work to a human and training the human, making sure they're the right fit, and making sure that all of that stuff is in place, it's an advanced thing. And it takes work, but it's also really... It's painful. It's not fun.

Like I will t- Nothing prepared me for being a manager and having a team. Like I, I thought it would be one thing, and then it turned out to be a completely other thing. It- it- it- it, like, it challenged me to evolve into a whole new version of myself that I never thought that I would have to. Mm-hmm.

And that, that... A- and so therefore, like, because you aren't experiencing that same rush of those things, it may be harder for you to show up in them, and maybe you've gotten to a point where you don't have to anymore. But now you have to do something differently, right, to be able to scale beyond what you've already created thus far, keep it consistent, and then be able to focus on the new, advanced, possibly exciting, but also boring shit, where it's going to be a little bit slower. You're gonna...

Like I said, in the past, in this last episode that we released, um, how you're gonna have to t- just test some things now, right? Like, I know a lot of the advanced strategies that we're working on in Mastermind, uh, right now, we are just... We're trying to accomplish more advanced things. And so some of these things require testing for a while, like four months, five months, to see what works, what doesn't, what the results are, so that way we can see if it's something that is, is viable for a long-term strategy or how to do it in the right way that's gonna work for us statistically.

For example, we have somebody in our Mastermind, uh, uh, group who is, who doesn't pr- Who ha- who has historically not pre-booked as much, and we... And she had always thought that, like, pre-booking was actually not a really great fit for her business for whatever reason, and so then sh- therefore she wasn't pre-booking. And we were trying to look at different opportunities and different ways that we could make more money in her business, and we were thinking, "Maybe pre-booking is the tea. Like, maybe we should test this out," right?

This is like a six-month test, y'all. Mm-hmm. Like a six-month of just trying to increase our pre-booking percentage with every single client, tracking every single client who pre-booked, and then tracking if they canceled or not. And we don't kno- We won't know if this worked until six months later.

That is boring. It is not fun, and it's tedious. It's boring to track all of this stuff on a day-to-day basis, right? But once you get to the end of that treacherous testing, you'll be able to find really beautiful little things that make all the difference for you in the long term.

And so that's one example of those things that feels boring. It's not really exciting and not fun, but it can make a really big difference to your bottom line. And that's a lot of the times what we have to deal with when we go from just growing the business to scaling the business.Yeah.

Yeah, and I think that's so true. And I feel like it's also in the feeling too when you get to a certain level, because it's like going from say like, say you were making $10,000 in your business, right? If you make an extra $10,000 in your business, you've doubled your income, and that is super, super exciting, right? If you make an extra $10,000 in your business when you're already making $100,000, it's still the same 10 grand.

You still have an extra 10 grand. That is huge. But it feels like, "Oh, I grew 10%." It doesn't feel like as big a deal.

So I think part of it too is just that, like, mental element. Yes. Oh my God. I will never...

I, I completely relate to this, 100%. When you hit a certain revenue level, and I see it with my own students, I mean, it's so interesting how, like, we'll be... 'cause we track with our mastermind group, like, I'm very, like, together with them and we are tracking their numbers on a diligent basis. And it's so interesting how maybe towards the beginning of their career they would have seen, like, how much better they did in a year, and that difference of- of- of income as such a huge deal.

But now they don't see it as that big of a deal. It's so true. And so then- Mm-hmm. that's not as exciting anymore.

If they're not doubling the income the next year, right, then maybe it doesn't feel as grand. When in reality it's like, you get to a point where that slow, steady growth is really powerful. It's much more sustainable. And a lot of the times our goals are no longer about revenue.

Our goals are actually about getting time back. Like, that's the more scarce resource at that point when you have built a lot of great sus- uh, sustainable, steady revenue, is now you, you most likely spent a lot of time to gain that. How do we sustain that revenue? Maybe grow it, yes, slowly but surely, but then do it without spending so much of our time, right?

And scaling our time is a lot less sexy than scaling our revenue, IMO. Huge, huge. Yeah, I totally agree, and I also think, like, that makes me think about the fact that when you are in that beginning phase, if you have an idea and you have something new you wanna execute, you have all the time in the world, so you can get it done so quickly. True.

That doesn't require a ton of discipline. When you're already running a successful business and you're already busy and you've already got the clients and all of the things that you're doing, you need to carve out a lot more discipline in order to do something over a period of time, 'cause you no longer can take, like, two days in the middle of your week to just get it done. Yeah. That's very, very true.

And so if you're listening to this and you feel like you can relate, you connect to any of this, you're probably a great fit for our mastermind program. So, our mastermind program is a intimate, personal, high level group of beautypreneurs who have created really awesome success for them- themselves, but they're thinking to themselves, "What actually is next for me?" And you come into my program, we go into a diligent deep dive of what is going on right now, what are, what are your biggest problems, where are your greatest opportunities, and what are the exact projects that we need to put into place to achieve your goals that will help to fit the, what you're looking for in your business and the fulfillment of your business, but also your personal life as well too. And you'll be able to be surrounded by people who are at your same level.

Instead of always giving advice to everybody else, you'll actually be getting advice from people who get it. So, if you're interested in joining us in our mastermind program, it is application only. If you wanna get a feel for the type of people who have joined our mastermind, to see the journeys that they have gone through, to see what maybe could be possible for you in this type of program, then you can check out our episode, it's called Real Stories of 10K Months, Big Growth, and Bigger Confidence Mastermind Roundtable, and we're gonna leave that link to that episode in the show notes here. And that's where we got all of our mastermind group together, and they shared their experience of being a high-performing entrepreneur and finding purpose in what's next and figuring out how to get there.

So, so much love to you, my friend. Thank you so much for tuning in to the Modern Hairstyles podcast. Keep on keeping on. Peace out.

Cris out. Bye-bye.

End of transcript. © 2025 Hunter Donia LLC.