Why Imposter Syndrome Still Shows Up—Even When You’re Successful

Hello, my friend. Welcome back to The Modern Hairstylist podcast. Today, we're going to be talking about impostor syndrome and how it affects particularly more successful hairstylists, because we look at impostor syndrome as something where you're feeling like an impostor, you feel like you are showing up as a badass business owner when maybe you don't actually feel like it or maybe you don't deserve it. And it's really interesting how the people who you may look at online or, uh, your neighbor or your peer, you may look at them like, "Holy shit, they're really freaking badass business owners.

Of course they have no problem with showing up online and showing who the hell they are and charging h- their worth," et cetera, et cetera. When in reality, every single one of us, no matter how much success, quote-unquote, we have gained, we are all feeling some sense of, "Am I deserving of this? Is this possible for me?" And I really want to address that feeling today because I think we all go through it, particularly even the people who have achieved a lot of that success, right?

And so I'm excited to get into it. This was an idea that Jodi and I came up with to talk about today. So what's going on, Jodi? How are you?

I am good, my friend. I'm excited that you're here because I think that, uh, you and I can relate on these levels. We talked a little bit last episode about how, like, once you get to a point of success, you now have leverage and opportunity to make really cool shit happen. And I think that a part of the transition of getting to that level but then getting to the next level is fighting through the new type of impostor syndrome that you may have, or the new type of mental challenges or mindset blocks that you have, right?

So where do you think we should start off with this convo? I think you're so right, and that was actually the thing that, one of the things that surprised me most about being an entrepreneur, is we think it's going to be a destination, and then you get to the destination that you're like, "Once I do this, like, everything will be great." And then you realize that you just have a whole new set of things that you have to think about and do, so I think this is a really important conversation for everyone at every, every, you know, layer on every journey in business. Um- Yeah.

So I think the best place to start then is, why do you think it is that, you know, things feel so much different once you get there? I think we expect that once we become successful, it's going to silence our impostor syndrome or we're not going to have self-doubt anymore, and I know that you have been in, you know, rooms and you've got peers and friends that have achieved, like, really huge things in business, and students as well. So where do you think this comes from, this whole, you know, mindset that maybe once we get there, it's still not enough, or we're not enough? Yeah.

I feel like what happens when you have built something really beautiful for yourself is that you look back and you've built something beautiful for yourself, and I think that actually makes things even scarier. I think that that actually makes things even deeper in one way or another, because now you have this thing that you do not want to lose, right? You also have this feeling maybe if you have, I don't know, some childhood shit, whatever it may be, this feeling that, like, the thing that you've built up until this point, maybe it's like, "Who am I to have done this? Who am I to take advantage of the thing that I have here now?

Who am I to, uh, have built this sustainability and then take yet another big risk and another big swing to make it so I'm getting to the even next level of this," right? And when you started out and you had the goal of working towards where you're at now, that's all you had thought about, that's all you had prepared your mind to do, that's all you had taken the education or got the mentorship or spoken about, right? So now you're at this space and you have not even conceptualized what it's gonna look like and what it's gonna take, nor is there a lot of examples out there of what it actually takes to get to that next level, even after you've achieved a little bit of success, right? And so it's just more mysterious.

You are even, there's a lot more that you have built up until this point, so there's more risk and way more things to think about, there's more complication. And I think that that all just within itself amplifies these feelings and makes it harder for you to, uh, take a next step without some fear or without feeling like, uh, you are, you've, you deserve more, I guess you could say. Right. Or, I know for me, being e- being Gen Z, right?

It's really fucking hard for the Gen Zers out here, okay, to build a sustainable career, to make the money that they need to live, and to ha- to not be living pay- paycheck to paycheck, right? And so, being my age, I have grown up around my friends who have all, all of, a- almost all of them have gone, like, the tradit- the traditional college route. Some of them not, but a lot of them have. They've gone the traditional college route, they did the internship, they worked the shitty, you know, nine-to-five situation, and now they've, are, they've matured a little bit in their careers.

However, they still, the bills are fucking crazy. Like, the cost of living is intense, and the amount of work and effort that they have to put in just for a minimum, right? Like, is, it's, it's, it's really hard for those people. And I have this sense of guilt a lot of the time being- Mm-hmm.

friends and close with these people, because I hear their experiences all the time, not being business owners, not having leverage, not being able to tap into this large amount of opportunity whenever they want to, right? Like, their company decides when they get the promotion, when they get more responsibility. We as business owners, we get to decide that for ourselves. We get to decide when we take on more responsibility, when we take a risk, when we're ready for that next level and that next step.

And so I have, I tend to have a lot of guilt around the fact that I have built some flexibility into my life, that I get to do what I absolutely love, and that I get to decide to chase even more whenever I want to. So I think that that's a big thing that comes, at least in my own personal experience. I'm not sure if everybody can relate to that. But it's difficult- Yeah.

for me also to just, like, think about how, like, the people closest to me...... Don't have the same opportunity, and it almost, like, makes me not want to chase the big things as much, because I'm like, "Who the hell am I to do this when all these other people don't have these same opportunities?" Right? I also believe, too, that you need, again, we talked about, a lot about leverage in the last episode.

You need some sort of leverage to be able to make a bigger impact in the world, right? Yeah, agree. And so if you are a business owner who is mission driven, who is impact driven, who wants to make a positive shift, and if you believe and you see the impact that you make in your business, right? 'Cause you can do that in so many different ways.

Then it should be worth it for you to do the next thing, regardless of how you feel- Right. to make it so you can do that on an even larger scale, right? Yeah. And I think that that is what always keeps me going.

That's what always makes me want to be o- want to be okay with doing more, in spite of how I may feel, right? Is that I know at the end of the day, there's a strong mission behind this, and whether I feel like I deserve it or not, I'm gonna go fucking do it, because it's not just about me. Yeah. I have a team, right?

I have tons of people who I help e- make a difference in their lives. And you as a hairstylist listening to this, you fucking do that for your community. You have people who may not have a crazy budget to go get their hair done, but guess what? They're spending a fuck ton of money that they may not have with you, because what you do for them is so important for their well-being.

100%. And h- when they go home to their family, to their friends, the way that they now carry themselves and interact with those people may be different. And by domino effect, you make a huge impact in your local community, and then therefore, the world, right? Right.

Love that. That's a big fucking deal. And so if you, taking a big risk, big swing, regardless of the imposter syndrome that you may feel, or whether you deserve that next level to be able to give that impact on the next scale, just remember your why at the end of the day. Because I think that that's what's helped me work through the guilt or the unworthiness that I may feel, is remembering that, like, "I'm not just doing this for me.

This is bigger than me." And, at the end of the day, we all know, deep down, we all know that we do fucking deserve it, and that we're capable of doing it. And you didn't become a business owner to just fucking live the status quo. You didn't become a fucking hairstylist to be a part of the status quo and to be the average person, because the average person would be too scared or wouldn't have the courage to do something that we do, because everybody in society tells us that we're gonna be fucking broke.

Mm-hmm. Right? 100%. So if you ha- if you are a human being who had the courage to go to beauty school, become a hairstylist, and then become a business owner, you have so, you have the privilege of being able to take advantage of the opportunities that are presented to you.

So why the fuck wouldn't you do that? Right? Yeah. It's huge.

Like, you do deserve that, and you've worked hard to do it, and you've taken the steps to be able to open those doors for yourselves. Fucking walk through those doors. Yeah. That's, it's big.

I wanted to bring up another point, too, because I know you mentioned the guilt, of that you're internalizing, right? And I think that something else that business owners deal with, particularly when they are the outliers in their friend group or in their families or whatever, is also both projected risk, I guess we'll say. Like, you know, when the people who love us most want to keep us safe, and they're wanting to- Yes. you know, like, mitigate any potential harm to us.

Yes. Um, there's that, and then there's also, you know, and I've got both types of people in my life. There's also, like, the must-be-nice people, right? Yep.

And so, you know, like, thinking that somehow, you know, you know you've worked really hard, and then there will always, I think, be those who think maybe you've gotten it, like, handed to you, and, and you should feel bad about it, and will verbally say that as well. And so the reason I bring that up is because I think there's, there's so many different ways that you can get to that point, right? Where it's, whether it's internalized or externalized. And I wanted to ask you, what is your, what is your thought on, you know, when you're trying to work through this, but you are in groups or in your family, you know, you're kind of the, the outlier in a way.

Like, where, h- how do you work through that? Yeah, dude. I have the, I love that you kind of categorized it as internally and externally, because that's genuinely how it feels for me. Like, that has been my experience.

Like, I have this internal, organic guilt that comes from my own thought processes- Right. around me comparing myself to the other people around me, the opportunities that they have. But then, there are absolutely external factors and sources. Those same people will say, like, for example, at the glow-up party, I was like on Zoom fucking holding a disco ball, like dancing, you know?

And one of my friends literally said to me, "How is this your job? Like, how is this real?" You know? And that, like, that is a perfect example of, like, an external source, like- Right.

indirectly, and not purposefully- Right. making me second-guess, like, "Am I worthy of this," right? My ex-partner, like, would all the time be like, "Are you sure that you wanna spend that money on that education? Like, that's a big risk.

Are you sure you want to increase your prices?" I have close family members who made it sound like I would never be able to do what I'm doing now happen- Right. particularly with my salon suite business, like all the fucking time. Yeah.

And thank God I didn't listen to them, right? Yep. And at the time, I don't, I think, and these are, like, our loved ones. Like, we just inherently, like, trust these people.

Of course. We really listen to their advice, and you know, there's that saying out there that the people that you surround yourself with are, you know, inherently gonna be who you are and how, and affect your thoughts very, uh, significantly. Right. And I must say...

It's taken me a lot of compartmentalizing to get to a point where, like, there is business Hunter and then there's, like, personal life friend Hunter. Right. Like, when I'm hanging out with my friends, I am a very different person. My beliefs and my thoughts, the way that I move, and how I philosophically just, like, have conversations with those people, it's very different than in my business.

And it's because I'm keeping my, I'm protecting myself, you know? I'm protecting myself as a human being from those thoughts because I know that that type of feeling of unworthiness or that guilt is not gonna be helpful for me at the end of the day, and I've proven that to myself. Like, I have historical proof of me not listening to my ex-partner saying, "Don't raise your prices. That's a little bit too scary," right?

And then I raised my prices, and my business got even crazier, you know? Exactly. I started making more money, I worked less, whatever, like. And me being defiant to these people was very important to my success, and now I have that historical experience that I guess allows me to have more confidence and more repetition in compartmentalizing and remembering that these people don't fucking get it.

Yes. These people aren't in the fucking arena. They're not in the ring fighting the same fight that you are. Yeah.

So how, why would I expect myself, or why should I listen to these people- Yeah. about something that they have no fucking clue what they're talking about, right? 100%. And I'll even go as far as saying my mother is a vice president of marketing, okay?

She's been fucking, she is such a fucking badass in her, in her job, in her career. I genuinely look up to her so much, and she's been doing this shit for a long time. Mm-hmm. There are many a times where I do not listen to her advice, although she loves to give it- Right.

because she still doesn't have the same understanding of what- Right. my particular circumstance is, and how I move and how everything moves within this industry, within my business. And she doesn't know, she just does- she just doesn't get it. Even if she has a college education and all this experience in this other industry, it's still a different industry, she's still a different person, and she's not my client, and she's not- Right.

some, she's not where I want to be, right? Yeah. She's not owning a salon suite business that is fucking kicking ass, like working three days a week and making a shit, per, oh, my God, especially if they're not business owners, right? Anyways- Oh, right.

I'm ranting, but like- ... especially if they're not business owners. They're never gonna fucking get it. Yeah.

And so surrounding yourself with community of like-minded people, people who are in the same fight as you, both where they are ahead, where you want to be, but also where you are, so that way you can relate to them, I think is massively important. And then having a mentor who is far ahead, who has their, the, a lot of, um, experience in seeing a lot of different types of businesses and how to get there and understanding how to get there, I think is really massively powerful and helpful in making sure that you have people who are going to bring you back to Earth when you're having these types of feelings and encourage you and hold you accountable to doing the damn thing even when you don't feel worthy of it- Right. or even when that guilt creeps in. And I had personal conversations with those people in my life.

Yeah. And I have literally set the boundary, which is totally okay for you to do- Yeah. of saying, "I can't, you cannot say this stuff to me." Right.

"Like, you cannot tell me to not raise my prices." Right. "It's already scary enough." Yeah.

And you know that it's the right thing to do, right? And if you run it by, if you really need the validation, if you really need the permission, right? If you run it by the community, the people who are in the ring, the same ring as you, by the mentor, what, if your numbers show that, right, you know that it's the right decision. So you don't need these people chiming the fuck in.

And you need- Yeah. to set boundaries and tell them exactly how they can actually support you through something like that. So for example, I would tell my ex-partner, I said, "I totally get it. I know that you care a lot about me and that you want me to be safe."

Right. "And that this also possibly affects you, right?" Like, maybe you're a breadwinner, and maybe you r- uh, the, the money that you make and what you do with your business affects you and your partner's long-term sustainability. That's totally fair, right?

But at the end of the day, you do have to stand up for yourself and have a conversation about the fact that I know that this is the right decision, and honestly, I need you to trust me. And if this doesn't work out how it was supposed to, then fine, okay, cool. Maybe we can, maybe I'll give you a little bit more leverage into the decisions- Yes. I make in the future.

But for now, please support me in this way, X, Y, Z. Do not tell me to be scared. Do not tell me to beli- belittle myself in the way that I'm making this decision, and just support me through a scary thing that I'm gonna be fucking doing anyway, you know? Right, yeah.

So I've had those conversations, and they've been very helpful. I, I, in my, in my own experience. And, uh, because you can't expect somebody to support you in something or, or respect a boundary when they don't know how it affects you, or you haven't told them how to support you and how to respect your boundaries. Yeah, that is such good advice, and I think it's, I mean, one of the things about being an entrepreneur is I feel like you have to kinda commit a little bit to being misunderstood, you know?

By, especially by the people who don't get it. Yeah. And it's, uh, I think you touched on two really important things there. Number one, you talked about that you had evidence that things had worked out in the past, right?

And, like, you, you could trust yourself because of that. And I think that speaks to the fact that confidence is very much something that you build. You, you built the trust in your decision-making. Yes.

You have gotten there, right? And I think that's something that it's very easy to overlook. So, you know, anyone that's listening, I would say look back at the things that you've decided and you have worked out, you know? Like-'Cause I believe that there's so many things, by the time you get to the point where you're investing your free time and listening to your growth, like you've already done things that are going to, that g- are going to give you that confidence.

Right. And then, I think the second thing that you pointed out that was so important is having conversations about the right topics with the right people. Absolutely. And making sure you have environments that you can cultivate that side of you.

Yeah. I remember being in, uh, my team, the very first team salon that I grew up in. Like, when I say grew up, my first day in this salon was my 16th birthday, all right? So I gen- I literally grew up in this salon, right?

So I'm growing up, my brain is developing- Right. with these really badass women. Like, fucking kickass women who I looked up to so much. We had a large salon.

Like, we had, like, 35 freaking operators within our space. And these women who I became very close with, who kind of took me under their wing, I looked up to them so much and what they were doing as stylists. And I learned so much from them, and they inspired me a lot. And then it came to a point where I started to become my o- uh, an educator, right, for, like, for a brand.

And I started to build my own damn business, and I was doing really well. And I was focusing on things that they never had thought about focusing on before, or they weren't motivated fo- to focus on before. And then all of a sudden, like, they had something to learn from me, right? Right.

But the problem was is that they weren't motivated to do it. Like, they, they weren't motivated- Mm-hmm. to be doing the same things as me. And I know e- uh, I know a lot of people listening to this can relate.

Mm-hmm. Like, if you've been in a, in a team-ish space where the other people around you aren't understanding the same things as you, or even, I've seen shaming you for caring. Yeah. Uh, you know, like shaming you for posting on social or, like, talking to your client about retail- Mm-hmm.

or whatever it may be. Like, if you're around those people, it's fucking really hard not to- Yeah. feel the imposter syndrome. It's really hard not to just want to throw in the freaking towel.

And some of us listening to this don't have the privilege of being able to just open up their own business or move to a different salon. Like, I know that that's also the case as well. Right. And so, I'm just going to encourage you, my friend, to, like, hang in there and compartmentalize as much as you possibly can.

And remember that, at the end of the day, you're doing yourself a much bigger favor, and not everybody around you is gonna believe in you or believe it in themselves. And I think that's honestly what dr- drove me even more nuts about being in that space- Right. is that I just saw so much potential for the others around me. Mm-hmm.

And I was like, "Damn, if you guys just were doing the same things as me, like how fucking cool would that be? Like how awesome would that be for you?" And it was very lonely. It felt extremely lonely to ha- be around other people- Yeah.

who didn't have that same motivation, who weren't starting their days planning out what retail they're going to sell to their clients and shit like that. Mm-hmm. Or like, how they're going to raise their average ticket, how they're going to increase their pre-booking percentage. Like, that was important to me.

Right. Because I knew that it was helpful for me, because I knew that there was opportunity in that. And you can't get everybody around you to see it the same way, and you just gotta say, "Fuck it," and do it anyway, again. Like- Absolutely.

and, and it's not, it's, and- and- and- and it's always going to be hard. Yeah. I think that's another thing that I would have loved to talk about more in this, in this podcast episode, but we're kind of running up, running out of time, is that, like, no matter what level of success that you're at, there's always going to be a challenge with your mindset, with what's actually tangibly happening in your life and your business. There's always going to be outside factors in the world, in the economy, in politics.

There's always going to be something, and you need to get really okay with the fact that that's what the fuck you're signing up for. Right. But you also simultaneously needs to get really okay with the fact that you hopefully recognize your why and the impact that you're making. And especially, I mean, it's real- I feel like it gets easier if you also have a family that you're supporting as well too.

Like, this is not just about you. This is not even just about your clients. It's also about, how are you building generational wealth? How are you building time into your life so you can support the people around you and your f- and your internal family, wherever, who hell- whoever the hell else you're supporting?

But also, you absolutely deserve this yourself, my friend. Mm-hmm. Every single human being should have the right to opportunity and, and working hard towards something. But there's always going to be some sort of challenge.

And there's never going to be a time and space where you're like, "Okay, I reached this revenue level, and now everything's going to be fine, and now everything's-" "... going to be cool." Because the goalpost will always move, and I think that we just have to make sure that we are just okay with that. At the end of the day, we just have to accept it.

We have to accept the pros over the cons, I feel. Absolutely. And I think you've done a really good job of outlining like, yes, it will always be hard, and also, there are things that you can do to support yourself in that journey. And I think you've touched on a lot of that today.

So, the beautiful thing, I think, about 2025 versus when I got into the industry is the fact that it is easier than ever to find community and find- Yeah. like-minded people who get you. And, um, I think you've really given a lot of advice and tangible kind of tips that people can take and apply and, and at least know that they're not alone. So, if there is one thing that you want the stylists listening to take away from this episode, Hunter, what would that be?

Take the risk. Take the swing. Who the fuck cares if you feel like you're not worth it? Fucking do it anyway because you are worth it, period.

Like, feel the fear, do it anyway. Feel the feelings, do it anyway. It's just what- Love it. you're signing up for as a business owner, and you are absolutely entitled to whatever the fuck it is that you are thinking about doing or you're too scared of doing, or however you're hiding in whatever spaces right now.

Say, just take a little risk, be a l- be a little crazy and say, "Fuck it," and show the fuck up big anyway. I, we have, I, I, really quickly and then I'm going to sign off.Gretchen Hugo, I hope that you're listening to this. She's one of our Mastermind students, and she has been doing hair for a long time.

And because she's been doing hair for a long time, she compares herself to all the people who are a little bit younger, who have not been doing hair as much, who are super successful, and she has felt like she's h- she's hidden herself a lot in her capabilities, in her opportunities, because she just feels a little bit nervous about taking these next steps. Meanwhile, she has built so much fucking success and so much opportunity for herself. And I j- and it's so cool to have seen in the past couple months, after she's joined Mastermind, in the past couple months, how she's surrounded herself with these other people who are taking big swings and risks, how she's really leaned into the community, how she has this mantra, like, "I am the shit," and we all remind her of it, we all tell her, like, "You are the shit." And it's been so cool to see her, like, raise her freaking prices unapologetically, to see her rebrand in ways that she was previously too scared to do.

Like, she's adding, like, little skulls to her wallpaper in her suite, and she always felt like, "Who am I to, like, be unprofessional or put myself into my brand?" Because for her entire career, she's been told that she needs to make herself smaller instead of show the fuck up as who she is, right? Mm-hmm. And it's just so fucking cool what happens when you do the damn thing and you stop hiding because of however you feel.

Does that mean that those feelings are gonna go away? No. Gretchen is still fucking scared. Gretchen is, still feels weird about it, even after she does it.

But then, she has more and more and more historical proof that it will be okay, and it'll even be worth it, and that's really fucking powerful. So build yourself some historical proof by taking the risk. And even if it doesn't turn out how the fuck you want it to turn out, there is still so much power in learning from whatever experience that is, and just building the confidence to take a big, scary step. So fucking do it!

Beauty. I love that. Thank you so much for tuning into the Modern Hair Stylist podcast. DM me and tell me the big, scary thing, or whatever the fuck it is that you're gonna be doing regardless of how you feel, right now.

DM me @hairbyhunty. I wanna know what the fuck it is. Okay? Thank you for tuning into the Modern Hair Stylist podcast.

Peace out, girl scout. Bye bye.

End of transcript. © 2025 Hunter Donia LLC.